Mary Contrary / German Philosophy on Children

First, our most important news... "Stubborn Girl Walks!!" Click on the links below to see the videos (couldn't get them into the blog, don't know why). Mary has joined the toddler club.

#1 Stubborn Girl Walking
#2 Mary Gets Bribed

We are exceedingly grateful. Mary is a determined "I'll do it!" kid and sometimes bully about almost everything. Finally she has added walking to her repertoire. Today she walked the main floor circuit twice, grinning, just to show me she could do it now. While my biceps may start to weaken (currently I can carry two children across a foreign city for miles) I am just glad we can put her down on the ground without worrying about her looking for disturbing things to eat... I caught her licking an ant off the floor last week.

Speaking of eating. Look who's feeding herself now. Last week we gave Mary a spoon and bowl at mealtimes. Just what she had been waiting for, apparently. Now we receive high-pitched lectures, withering glares, and hand slaps (our hands, that is) if we attempt to help her get food on the spoon or, heaven forbid, touch her bowl. I am going to try to get her 'death stare' on camera soon. We laugh and wonder if she will go to Hollywood instead of college someday.

But she LOVES her big brother. She has started giving Eli hugs when we pick him up from school and will pet his hair or put her arm around him when he reads her a story (but won't let him cuddle on her). And she copies, exactly, everything he does. She watches him closely and then mimics. This is good and bad. She has learned how to drink from a straw, fill and pour with cups, and "read" a book earlier than Eli did. But she has also learned how to climb on tables, beg for treats, and be naughty faster too.

There are a few oddities that I'll categorize as being part of the German Philosophy on Children. I'm only in the introductory course so keep an eye out for followup articles.

• Your children WILL be healthy. Several months back I got a long, unreadable (for me) letter from the Minister of Health, Justice, and Social Welfare of the State we live in (Saarland). It had to do with Mary and appeared medical in nature. I brought it to my doctor and they said they would take care of it. Just after Eli's 4th birthday I got a similar looking letter for him, forgot about it, got a second letter, and neglected to take it to my doctor on one of our many sick visits. Then on Thursday I got a third letter from this office with a handwritten form saying they would be at my house (gah!!) on Monday for a home visit from 10am - 12pm!!! Calling in a panic I found an English speaker who said if they don't hear from your doctor around your child's birthday that they have had an annual checkup, they will show up at your door to do the physical themselves. I called my doctor and think we have it all cleared up. Eli had a lengthy 4-year physical and developmental review (completely in German) which he passed just fine. Sheesh.
• Children are welcome in stores. Or... at least their parents' Euros are welcome. My kids get an average of 2 gummy bear packets, 1 balloon, 1 piece of sausage, 1 slice of cheese and 1 sucker each every time we do an errand run. And the grocery store, furniture store, and Ikea have free, supervised playrooms (with ball pits, slides, toys) where you can leave your potty-trained child while you shop. Eli loves these places. Mary is frustrated that she can't go too.
• Children are not welcome elsewhere. Restaurants (the kind with napkins and silverware), many video stores (strange but true) and even churches are included in this category. The local church offers a service for kids... once a month on Wednesday afternoons (when they take naps).... nothing is offered on Sunday mornings other than a regular service (no nursery, childrens worship). Our church is different, thankfully.
• Kid-Centered Businesses are Rare. A few toy stores, the pools, and some playplaces can be found but there are too few Pediatricians, no pediatric dentists, no kids hair cut places, no kids' restaurants (equals nowhere to have a birthday party) and no mid-range clothing stores. And good luck finding a babysitter. Everyone lives near parents or other relatives so this is not a common pursuit of teenagers in order to make money. I'm making a little headway on this lately, however.
• Supervision is optional. Kids as young as five are often running all over the neighborhood completely without parental supervision. My friends in other towns have seen very young kids out after dark, regularly, with no parent in sight. Yikes.

Oh dear. This is awfully long. I'm sure there will be more later so you can go to bed now.