You call THAT rude?!?

This is home. I love living here. So after a few years I may forget what things struck me as strange when I first arrived... until I get an in-my-face reminder (literally).

A few weeks ago, on my second full day back from Christmas in the states I was at the store with both kids to get a few small things. For the first time ever I could utilize the "5 items or less" line. Which was good given that the other 20 registers were each at least three carts deep... While protecting my spot in line and lecturing the kids a 60-ish year old man walked up, put out his elbow, and inserted himself into the 6-inch gap between myself and the person in front of me, despite my wide-leg defensive stance.

Suffering severe jet-lag (two nights straight of two hours sleep apiece) and seeing that he was not someone in a situation which would warrant allowing a cut in line, I didn't take it too well. I told him, rather forcefully in German: "Excuse me. The line is behind me." And pointed for clarity. He glared at me but walked slowly to the back. It went no further, thankfully, but to be fair.... the man probably didn't think he was being rude at all.

A handy, highly unofficial print-and-pack Rudeness Chart for your convenience below:

• Sniffing when nose is runny: Rude in Germany, Okay in the USA
• Loudly honking into tissue in immediate presence of others when nose is runny: Rude in USA, Okay in Germany
• Not offering right hand when greeting someone: Rude in Germany, Okay in USA
• Bumping people w/grocery cart to get by or because one is impatient: Rude in USA, Okay in Germany
• Cutting in line when others are complacent: Rude in USA and Germany but definitely seems more acceptable around Europe
• Driving through crosswalks / intersections despite seeing pedestrians waiting to cross: Rude in Germany, Okay in USA (having to retrain myself on this one)
• Talking on Cell Phone at restaurants, in midst of people groups: Rude in Germany, Okay in USA
• Asking about personal finances, including salary: Rude in USA, Okay in Germany
• Tipping 5% at restaurants and for other services: Rude in USA, Okay in Germany
• Being (mostly) humored by our differences: Okay everywhere, we would hope.

How To Explain Eggnog?

Or Thanksgiving, for that matter? I've tried to do so this week. Strange how our customs and traditions don't sound weird at all, until you need to give background and solid reasons to a curious foreign friend. When you get questions like "Why do you watch football on a family holiday?", for example. Errrr, uuuuhhhhh. You just do. That's why.

Might as well wear those holiday clothes, too.

I jumped into German culture our first two years and ignored Thanksgiving. Kevin had to work anyway. We had PB&J in 2007, if I recall. But this year the Rogers said we ought to do it. So we did. It was great. Tasted incredible (I made the eggnog, by the way), felt wonderful - even if only for a few hours - and there was even football on TV.

A Medical (Mental) Adjustment

I am a fairly adaptable person. There are many pieces of German culture that we have adopted and will remain a part of this household forever, wherever that household migrates to on this planet. But in two years of trying, I find I am unable to break my American perspective on all things medical, having for too long enjoyed the world standard in medicine.

Existing on the 'good' side of the equation, German medicine offers real, true well-child checkups for children: 2 hours long, vision/hearing/mobility/cognition tests done in the office in addition to the all over exam. Also in their favor is the lack of medical malpractice suits to drive every doctor out of town and country. Finally, they have on-call house doctors when desperately needed, even on weekends.

But the American in me also wants, and does not often see:

• gloves to be worn when drawing blood or fluid samples (or at least hands being washed inbetween drawings being performed by the same person. seriously)
• a waiting room that is bigger than a closet, has more than a plastic plant for diversion, and contains fewer than 38 people waiting to see the same doctor at the same time.
• a bit less of 'doctor knows best' and a bit more of 'the mom knows' kind of listening.
• the ability to purchase Ibuprofen without a prescription.

My biggest complaint was highlighted last year with Eli's nasty tonsils and this year with Mary's troublesome ears, however. And that is the reluctance of doctors (and parents) to do even the simplest operation (tubes in the ears, for example) unless they have exhausted all homeopathic and modern medicines, the full store of a mother's patience, and countless hours of time spent at checkups and pharmacies. Last year I gave up on this side of the pond, went to the states, and had Eli's tonsils yanked, FINALLY solving the problem.

This year remains to be seen. The ENT is nice. He actually has a decent office. But he has prescribed no less then 7 different medicines in various combinations to fix Mary's very real fluid-in-the-ear and ear infection issue in the last 3 weeks. All but one are homeopathic. A new (and somewhat alarming) experience for me. These drugs, for adults and children, almost ALL contain ALCOHOL. To dry up the fluid, silly. And now we're putting oil into her nose that has Glycerol-something-or-another in it.

Ranting to my German friends has proved predictably pointless. They have informed me I am too quick to operate and operations are all dangerous and scary. They have a point. I am trying to listen. But "wait-and-see" has never, ever been my strong-suit. I pursue a solution as quickly as possible. I am being forced to hold my horses.

Honeymoon's Over

Eek. Two months gone. Not sure how I couldn't have noticed since I slept very little during that time. After Denmark / Norway we spent crunch time bonding with all our friends here then we left for three weeks to the states (see pics at right) where Mary was sick the whole time and Eli part of the time and I travelled through three states in a VW bug with too much luggage but saw lots of good friends and then back here with mom where we went on a weekend to the Black Forest, rushed through busy regular life, then flew to Madrid for five days / nights (see pics at right) and then back here but Kevin was gone to the States and he's still not back but now my mom is gone and i'm still not getting much sleep. Now you're all caught up. Thanks for (attempting) reading.



For October, at least, we will be the boring Flikkema family, we hope. The Honeymoon (with Europe, with travelling) is over.



Being in the States showed me that there are many good things to be said about my home country. Things I miss and would like to be a part of again. Living abroad is not better than all things. I still love it here. This is home. But perhaps not living here forever is okay too. And, if you are interested in advice (i'm pretty free with it so ignore at will), here's mine. Don't travel to check off a list. Don't travel for the sake of travelling. You'll still find lots to enjoy if you do. But you'll weary of it. As often happens with my husband and I, we both became enlightened around the same time. I wouldn't change my last trips for anything (great times with my mom, fabulous times with friends and seeing my new nephew). But I am going to change my future plans. Rather then checking off Berlin, Brussels, and Vienna - we're giving Europe a rest - many sights yet unseen.



We're going only where we really want to go. When we really want to do it. And preferably with loved ones who are visiting. We miss being a part of the lives of the people we care about. Your summer weekends, campouts, and reunions were the cause of much jealousy around here. We can't wait to do them with you. Your side of the ocean or ours.

Kid-Friendly

We got home last night. Within minutes my neighbor came over with some bread, in case we were hungry and had no food in the house. While we were gone she watered the flowers and took our garbage to the curb and back.

Today I had to visit the store in order to feed my ever-hungry children. This must-do-twice-weekly trip has graduated from the category of 'dread' to 'hooray!' since Mary potty-trained. She can now go to the excellent and free child-care center with Eli. They can't wait to go. I can't wait to go. They play, do art projects, build trains, slide, and play games. And when I picked them up today after some blissfully-quick childfree grocery shopping, the head teacher - who knows us well - gave me a stack of finger paintings done by my kids in the previous month. She had matted and framed them and simply said "these are from your previous visits, to take home." I practically had tears in my eyes.

This afternoon we went to get haircuts for my shaggy-haired pups. They love the kids at this salon and treat them like little royalty. Eli asked for blue hair at the end of his buzz cut (I do not know why). So his stylist goes to find a blue mascara and colors it for him. He spends the rest of the day convinced he is a "rock star." Of course they get suckers as rewards, as well. Most days I really love living here and some days, like today, it feels like a little slice of kid-friendly heaven.

Very disappointed that the color wasn't permanent... pic before the wash off.

Our trip to Copenhagen in Denmark and the fjords (click for definition) and Cities of Norway was wonderfully kid-friendly as well. With one exception we were impressed with the people and places and their love of children. Some loved our kids in the moment more than we did. I really wanted to enjoy our kids this trip. What's the old saying? "You'll usually find what your looking for." Photos and stories that way ----->