Bad Luck

Beware when in Germany that you don't stumble into bad luck. For instance....

Before taking a sip of wine / beer / beverage when you are out with friends, you must say "Prost" and - this is very important - look into everyones eyes. If you don't, you'll have seven years of bad sex.

If someone should gift you with pearls, they will bring you nothing but tears and sorrow unless you pay them for the gift - even if it is only a dollar - and therefore render it a non-gift and sidestep the curse.

This next one was strongly reiterated to me this week when making plans for Eli's birthday celebrations. His school is closed for a teacher training day on the 24th, his birthday and I wondered if I might bring in treats (standard) the day before to celebrate. A look of horror crossed his teacher's face and she said, very seriously: "No! Never celebrate a birthday beforehand. We will celebrate on the Monday after." Another friend had told me this but, alas, my American brain believes one should celebrate when it is convenient.

Not so here in Germany. Celebrating before your birthday (a special dinner, a gift, a party) will heap bad luck on the special person for the next year. Just. Don't. Do. It.

Ireland: Bring Your Rainboots

Back from the 'Emerald Isle' and I can say we definitely experienced Ireland's weather, culture, and beauty. The forecast said rain so I bought me some boots and packed the umbrellas and rain coats as well. Wonderful vacation, overall. See the pictures right.

Thursday: Flew in after a good flight and the biggest hassle was getting our rental car (with car seats). Eventually we folded ourselves into a small, backwards Toyota Yaris and crawled out of Dublin. Stopped at Cashel, a monastic site, for a few hours halfway across the country. During the second half of the drive Kevin had to scrape the bushes when other cars passed because the roads are so narrow and constantly turning... it was an experience. Also, they have only two real-ish freeways in the whole country so you spend a lot of time risking your life.

Friday: Saw an aquarium and then drove around the Dingle Peninsula. The sun came out as we neared the tip and we round a corner to an incredible rainbow over the islands just off the coast. Played on the beach - had a blast - and tried to dry Mary out the rest of the day. Ate at the museum for the Great Blasket Island all about the gaelic language and culture - very new and very nice. Then saw lots of beauty the rest of the day driving over a pass and back to our apartment.

Saturday: Our day in and around Killarney National Park was very cloudy, drizzly, and view-limiting. But we did hike to a waterfall, buy some lovely Irish scarves (Kev and I), see a stone circle, and visit an 'historical farm' which the kids enjoyed (especially the blacksmith at work) despite being soaking wet.

Sunday: Left our great apartment and boarded the ferry across the bay and onto the Burren - a barren land - and found the Cliffs of Moher. 600 feet from the top straight down to the sea - they are impressive - and the sun even showed its face so we could enjoy them properly. After a lunch and visit to one last beach Kevin endured one more harrowing drive to Dublin.

Monday: Our last day was cold and wet again but turned out great once we decided to start using taxis to get around and the first one we took brought us to the home of Guiness beer. Fun, modern, interactive showpiece and everyone got free drinks. Kevin got a t-shirt. Then back to Trinity College for a funny tour by a student with heavy Irish brogue. And their old, dark wood-panelled library with ancient books was awesome to see. Could've spent hours there but for a few hungry kids. Back to the hotel for naps. While the kids (and Kevin) were sleeping, I went and bought tickets for Disney on Ice's Nemo, playing a few blocks from our hotel! After some more exploring in the evening the kids got to stay up late and see the show. Loved it. A fun ending to a good family vacation.

Medieval style Asparagus anyone?

April brings 'spring cleaning' in the States. Here it brings asparagus. Huge, white, rated into 5 categories asparagus stalks everywhere you go. White because the stalks are deprived of sunlight (kept mounded in dirt) and therefore cannot create the chlorophyll to turn green. It's "spargel" season. Last year at the special spargel stand at the store I bought a handful of the middle-rated stalks - about the size of a very large carrot. Dutifully, I also purchased Hollandaise Sauce, as is traditional. After my purchase the clerk put my purchased stalks through a special maching (think classic, old-time popcorn maching but with a dozen blades through the middle). Fed through one at a time, the stalks were spit out the opposite end peeled and ready to boil. Had them that night. They were fine, almost tastless but for the mild sauce. More tender (less chewy) than the skinny greens, perhaps. But we decided this was one German obsession we just don't understand.

And this weekend we will probably end up, once again, at the "Middle Ages Market" as we did last April. And wonder anew at the uber-obsession the people here have with all things medieval, castle-like, and knight-ish. A few examples: more than half of the boys' costumes at Fasching were knights. Every major board game here has a 'medieval version.' Most Christmas markets (including the one we went to in Stuttgart last December) are actually two markets. Modern and - you guessed it - Medieval. In the medieval market the huts are tents. The sellers have period robes on. The handmade products are horns, leather ties, swords & knives, old style candles, and woolen clothing. You will usually also see a falcon or other large bird and more than one horse.

The market last year was a trip. Food was sold on sticks or eaten with hands. Visitors (excepting ourselves) were dressed as if it were 500 years ago and stopped to compare leather money purses and sword sheathes with their friends. We bought one small wooden frog for my collection and some sort of meat on a stick. After avoiding sharp swords swinging from strangers and large hounds that were thankfully tame, we (ran for the hills) went home. If you need roughly sown shawls or chainmail... let me know soon.

What Happens in Mallorca...

First gals vacation for me and I want more. Sigh. Four outgoing friends + sunny, warm weather + willingness to ignore the budget (temporarily) + determination to laugh = FUN. Low season meant there were no crowds and we only ate good food, served to us by others, while it was still hot! Pure bliss for 4 moms who left 10 children behind with their dads.

View from our balcony, sunrise / moonset on Saturday.

I told Kevin it would not be his thing - he agrees - as it included laying on the beach with visits to the spa and shops and only one token visit to a tourist attraction. So what did he do here on the homefront? Went to a fun museum, the toy store, on walks. They had a great time and missed me not at all. Mary called me 'daddy' all morning and had to be bribed to even give me a hug. Eli wanted presents. I believe this means I should go away more often.

Me, Sarah, Sandra, Jessica

We did what girls do. We blabbed about our personal lives, we vetted each other's outfits before going out, we encouraged each other to spend money, we complained about men, we fought over who would get to pay. And, unavoidably, we bragged on our kids and even our husbands. In between and during chatting (remember, we're all outgoing, so talking was loud and continuous) we hit a few beaches and even got a little sun. We enjoyed the spa at our on-the-beach hotel and the balconies of our next-door rooms with sea views. We ate Pasta, Tapas, Pizza, Indian, and Burger King. We stayed out late dancing (4am, folks) and took long showers. We did not catch up on any sleep. Here's the list of characters:


Sarah: Mom of four. Prone to motion sickness (and therefore permanently in the navigator's seat), curious about the lives of strangers and friendly to a fault. Funniest moment - aiding and abetting an illegal street vendor by yelling "Excuse me! Sir!" and throwing a dropped 'leather' wallet to him as he was running from the police. We saw the car a minute later coming around the corner. Hilarious.

Jessica: Mom of two and new to Germany. This was her first trip since coming here, in fact. Never seen without makeup and needing regular infusions of cafe-au-laits she is a beach lover and an early riser (good thing we roomed together as the other two were not). She was the only one ready to go clubbing a second night! Funniest moment - draping herself reluctantly over a motorcycle for a great sexy photo and making a quick escape before we had to explain ourselves to its owner.


Sandra P.: Mom of two from Ireland (married to a US military contractor). Gut-busting colorful language in an adorable accent and the only non-wine drinker of the group. She made sure we all got 'ice showers' (by throwing it at us) in the spa and educated the rest of us on Indian cuisine. Funniest moment - letting loose in the 70's & 80's club room, singing at the top of her lungs and taking pictures for purposes of evidence - and perhaps bribery - of us all dancing like loons.

Me: Mom of two. Driver for the weekend and the most likely to indulge... in food, spa treatments, shopping. Lone person not seeking coffee infusions, I danced the night away and still couldn't sleep in the next morning. Funniest moment - silly comments and loud singing as well as being a mother hen throughout the weekend making sure everyone was okay.



We're already planning to do it again. The French Riviera is calling our names.

How to Make A German Friend

About 25 miles from there are 50,000 Americans who sometimes have dreams of "really getting to know Germany and making German friends." This is nearly impossible when most of your business can be done on base (for cheaper) and the German businessess in the area speak perfect English. Neighborhoods are segregated and Kindergartens limit the number of American kids they will accept in order to have places for more permanent residents.



Our chances are far better but by no means guaranteed. And, to save you a year or so on the learning curve, I have some guidelines on how to make a friend as an American in Germany:



#1 Live with them. Do not live in an American neighborhood. You will get a spot in the Kindergarten (eventually) and are not viewed as temporary (though you probably are) and therefore avoidable. Don't have a kid? Get a dog. Just as good in the eyes of many.



#2 Start walking. To the local shops and to school. On the walking paths and all the time (you will see your neighbors out there in the rain and snow). Germans walk often and everywhere and can not continue to ignore you if they keep seeing you.



#3 Be A Pest. Keep showing up at the local celebrations of strange saints' holidays, steeplechase contests and soccer games. You might stand utterly alone for a time but you will lose the tourist label and get a few nods and smiles in your direction.



#4 Start talking. It is a rare person here who will come up to you in welcome. It isn't because they aren't friendly - it's because they don't know if you are - and they don't know what to say. Walk in someone's direction - yes this is hard to do - and introduce yourself in any language and smile big.

#5 Stock Tea. Start inviting and do it first or it won't happen. Cake and coffee/tea on real plates at a set table are standard for afternoon visits (and many have expresso machines). I'm a bit more casual but I have started making sure I have tea and baked goods! Germans make friends for life and stay in contact forever. We don't and they know it. You have to be aggressive or you won't get past that.



#6 Grit Your Teeth. Keep doing all of the above even when you've had it and the smile on your face is plastic. One day you'll have a great conversation or visit with a new friend/neighbor and experience a bit of social euphoria that will carry you through.

(Me and a friend: Claudia Muller)

After finally figuring out what was going on in my neighborhood I started getting involved and it was a true test of endurance. No one talking to me or the (rare) few folks who start out disliking me at the play group, the tumbling hour, the soccer field. I almost quit all of them but kept going. Now they all smile in greeting and I talk to everyone I meet on a walk and it really does feel great. Of course, i've had to start drinking tea and pushing dinner back (schedule of most Germans is later than ours) but I don't mind. A friend - especially one in a faraway land - is worth it.