4Flikks

You call THAT rude?!?

2010-01-27T14:29:00.011+01:00

This is home. I love living here. So after a few years I may forget what things struck me as strange when I first arrived... until I get an in-my-face reminder (literally).

A few weeks ago, on my second full day back from Christmas in the states I was at the store with both kids to get a few small things. For the first time ever I could utilize the "5 items or less" line. Which was good given that the other 20 registers were each at least three carts deep... While protecting my spot in line and lecturing the kids a 60-ish year old man walked up, put out his elbow, and inserted himself into the 6-inch gap between myself and the person in front of me, despite my wide-leg defensive stance.

Suffering severe jet-lag (two nights straight of two hours sleep apiece) and seeing that he was not someone in a situation which would warrant allowing a cut in line, I didn't take it too well. I told him, rather forcefully in German: "Excuse me. The line is behind me." And pointed for clarity. He glared at me but walked slowly to the back. It went no further, thankfully, but to be fair.... the man probably didn't think he was being rude at all.

A handy, highly unofficial print-and-pack Rudeness Chart for your convenience below:

Sniffing when nose is runny: Rude in Germany, Okay in the USA
Loudly honking into tissue in immediate presence of others when nose is runny: Rude in USA, Okay in Germany
Not offering right hand when greeting someone: Rude in Germany, Okay in USA
Bumping people w/grocery cart to get by or because one is impatient: Rude in USA, Okay in Germany
Cutting in line when others are complacent: Rude in USA and Germany but definitely seems more acceptable around Europe
Driving through crosswalks / intersections despite seeing pedestrians waiting to cross: Rude in Germany, Okay in USA (having to retrain myself on this one)
Talking on Cell Phone at restaurants, in midst of people groups: Rude in Germany, Okay in USA
Asking about personal finances, including salary: Rude in USA, Okay in Germany
Tipping 5% at restaurants and for other services: Rude in USA, Okay in Germany
Being (mostly) humored by our differences: Okay everywhere, we would hope.

How To Explain Eggnog?

2009-11-26T21:03:00.003+01:00

Or Thanksgiving, for that matter? I've tried to do so this week. Strange how our customs and traditions don't sound weird at all, until you need to give background and solid reasons to a curious foreign friend. When you get questions like "Why do you watch football on a family holiday?", for example. Errrr, uuuuhhhhh. You just do. That's why.

Might as well wear those holiday clothes, too.

I jumped into German culture our first two years and ignored Thanksgiving. Kevin had to work anyway. We had PB&J in 2007, if I recall. But this year the Rogers said we ought to do it. So we did. It was great. Tasted incredible (I made the eggnog, by the way), felt wonderful - even if only for a few hours - and there was even football on TV.

A Medical (Mental) Adjustment

2009-10-14T22:46:00.001+02:00

I am a fairly adaptable person. There are many pieces of German culture that we have adopted and will remain a part of this household forever, wherever that household migrates to on this planet. But in two years of trying, I find I am unable to break my American perspective on all things medical, having for too long enjoyed the world standard in medicine.

Existing on the 'good' side of the equation, German medicine offers real, true well-child checkups for children: 2 hours long, vision/hearing/mobility/cognition tests done in the office in addition to the all over exam. Also in their favor is the lack of medical malpractice suits to drive every doctor out of town and country. Finally, they have on-call house doctors when desperately needed, even on weekends.

But the American in me also wants, and does not often see:

gloves to be worn when drawing blood or fluid samples (or at least hands being washed inbetween drawings being performed by the same person. seriously)
a waiting room that is bigger than a closet, has more than a plastic plant for diversion, and contains fewer than 38 people waiting to see the same doctor at the same time.
a bit less of 'doctor knows best' and a bit more of 'the mom knows' kind of listening.
the ability to purchase Ibuprofen without a prescription.

My biggest complaint was highlighted last year with Eli's nasty tonsils and this year with Mary's troublesome ears, however. And that is the reluctance of doctors (and parents) to do even the simplest operation (tubes in the ears, for example) unless they have exhausted all homeopathic and modern medicines, the full store of a mother's patience, and countless hours of time spent at checkups and pharmacies. Last year I gave up on this side of the pond, went to the states, and had Eli's tonsils yanked, FINALLY solving the problem.

This year remains to be seen. The ENT is nice. He actually has a decent office. But he has prescribed no less then 7 different medicines in various combinations to fix Mary's very real fluid-in-the-ear and ear infection issue in the last 3 weeks. All but one are homeopathic. A new (and somewhat alarming) experience for me. These drugs, for adults and children, almost ALL contain ALCOHOL. To dry up the fluid, silly. And now we're putting oil into her nose that has Glycerol-something-or-another in it.

Ranting to my German friends has proved predictably pointless. They have informed me I am too quick to operate and operations are all dangerous and scary. They have a point. I am trying to listen. But "wait-and-see" has never, ever been my strong-suit. I pursue a solution as quickly as possible. I am being forced to hold my horses.

Honeymoon's Over

2009-10-06T22:13:00.003+02:00

Eek. Two months gone. Not sure how I couldn't have noticed since I slept very little during that time. After Denmark / Norway we spent crunch time bonding with all our friends here then we left for three weeks to the states (see pics at right) where Mary was sick the whole time and Eli part of the time and I travelled through three states in a VW bug with too much luggage but saw lots of good friends and then back here with mom where we went on a weekend to the Black Forest, rushed through busy regular life, then flew to Madrid for five days / nights (see pics at right) and then back here but Kevin was gone to the States and he's still not back but now my mom is gone and i'm still not getting much sleep. Now you're all caught up. Thanks for (attempting) reading.

For October, at least, we will be the boring Flikkema family, we hope. The Honeymoon (with Europe, with travelling) is over.

Being in the States showed me that there are many good things to be said about my home country. Things I miss and would like to be a part of again. Living abroad is not better than all things. I still love it here. This is home. But perhaps not living here forever is okay too. And, if you are interested in advice (i'm pretty free with it so ignore at will), here's mine. Don't travel to check off a list. Don't travel for the sake of travelling. You'll still find lots to enjoy if you do. But you'll weary of it. As often happens with my husband and I, we both became enlightened around the same time. I wouldn't change my last trips for anything (great times with my mom, fabulous times with friends and seeing my new nephew). But I am going to change my future plans. Rather then checking off Berlin, Brussels, and Vienna - we're giving Europe a rest - many sights yet unseen.

We're going only where we really want to go. When we really want to do it. And preferably with loved ones who are visiting. We miss being a part of the lives of the people we care about. Your summer weekends, campouts, and reunions were the cause of much jealousy around here. We can't wait to do them with you. Your side of the ocean or ours.

Kid-Friendly

2009-08-10T22:31:00.006+02:00

We got home last night. Within minutes my neighbor came over with some bread, in case we were hungry and had no food in the house. While we were gone she watered the flowers and took our garbage to the curb and back.

Today I had to visit the store in order to feed my ever-hungry children. This must-do-twice-weekly trip has graduated from the category of 'dread' to 'hooray!' since Mary potty-trained. She can now go to the excellent and free child-care center with Eli. They can't wait to go. I can't wait to go. They play, do art projects, build trains, slide, and play games. And when I picked them up today after some blissfully-quick childfree grocery shopping, the head teacher - who knows us well - gave me a stack of finger paintings done by my kids in the previous month. She had matted and framed them and simply said "these are from your previous visits, to take home." I practically had tears in my eyes.

This afternoon we went to get haircuts for my shaggy-haired pups. They love the kids at this salon and treat them like little royalty. Eli asked for blue hair at the end of his buzz cut (I do not know why). So his stylist goes to find a blue mascara and colors it for him. He spends the rest of the day convinced he is a "rock star." Of course they get suckers as rewards, as well. Most days I really love living here and some days, like today, it feels like a little slice of kid-friendly heaven.

Very disappointed that the color wasn't permanent... pic before the wash off.

Our trip to Copenhagen in Denmark and the fjords (click for definition) and Cities of Norway was wonderfully kid-friendly as well. With one exception we were impressed with the people and places and their love of children. Some loved our kids in the moment more than we did. I really wanted to enjoy our kids this trip. What's the old saying? "You'll usually find what your looking for." Photos and stories that way ----->

Tea Time & Gewurztraminer

2009-07-23T21:41:00.004+02:00

This child lives for bread and soup dinners.

Entering Riquewihr, France. Walled. Stone houses.

Canal ride in rickety boat. In the rain.

My 13 year-old teacups and saucers got their first taste of hot liquid this morning when I scrubbed them out and hosted an almost-German morning breakfast / tea time. We had coffee cake without coffee, cheeses without meats, and a frittata rather than bread-n-butter BUT I still claim success based on good conversation and my new purchase of a water-heating pitcher. Tea kettles are only found in gift stores or online. This is my concession to hot caffeinated liquids. I have still never brewed a cup of coffee.

Had a hard time concentrating since I was awaiting news from Chicago, which came just after lunch - a new nephew!! Very excited for Janelle, David and our whole family on the arrival of Ethan David. Sad that mom isn't here to brag to the whole world. Kev's dad is doing a good job of it though. A good day. And a hard one. One of the very few where I feel far away from where I want to be. But we will be trippin' there very soon.... after we get this frivolous 9 days in Scandinavia out of the way. Hah! We're excited. About all of it.

Insight: Travel guide books say the best time to travel to Europe is in the summer. They lie. You will either burn to a crisp (Spain, Italy) or be struck by lightning while trudging through the rain in your brand-new, "bought for this trip" tennis shoes (Germany, Netherlands, France, etc).

We have never regretted a trip. Not even an I've-got-a-crazy-idea-for-this-weekend kind of excursion and we won't start now. But we did have a few, shall we say, 'issues' when we chose to catch Le Tour De France last Friday and Saturday. Got wet, got goodies, got squashed in the crowds and advertisers parade on Friday afternoon almost at the finish in Colmar, France. The kids, God love 'em, loved it. They were the definite bright spot (this changes, stay tuned) watching all the crazy themed cars, catching free hats and snacks, and staying in one place in the pouring rain for 90 minutes to see 2 minutes worth of bike racing. Other bright spot: Gewurztraminer white wine. Specialty of the region and new Flikkema favorite. Tried it that night at dinner and started looking for bottles to buy.

Booking the hotel last-minute meant only one room left that can fit only one extra travel bed. Kid on either end of this too-small-poor-excuse-for-a-sleeping-recepticle meant lots of this.
"She kicked me!"
"Mom, her toenails scratched me!"
"Stop it Eli! No!"
... in addition to the trials of a toddler in potty training afraid of going #2. At 2am. And 3am.

After that fabulous night we decided to go back to standing in one place in the rain. But for 2 full hours this time! The kids did well though, re-loved the exact same parade, and banged their giveaway rumble-sticks when the bikers went by. They even got kid-sized "LiveStrong" bracelets. Don't ask if we saw Lance. We probably did. He had a helmet on, right? Took a little boat ride on a cute canal in town, browsed a happy electric train mini-museum, then headed for a walled-medieval town, very cute, and a restaurant in the middle of the forest somewhere. I had a smoked, minced-pork meat pie.... "Je t'adore, mince-meat-pie! Tres magnifique!" And a glass of Gewurztraminer. And the sun decided to shine.

After another fun night of bickering and backside reminders we ventured to the castle fortress of Haut Koenigsbourg in the misty rain. Very cool place. Eli and Mary ran through little stone doorways, up and down steps, had a good time. Then they slept, thankfully, while Kevin, I, and the GPS got good and hopelessly lost in the stomach-clenching curvy, misty Vosges Mountain Range. We somehow escaped, made ourselves feel worse by eating McDonalds, and survived the drive home.

Glad we did it. Won't do it again. Will happily go along with any visitors next year to the town hosting Le Tour and will sightsee with the kids while you stand 'at the line' and catch hats.

Putz Frau

2009-07-02T16:06:00.008+02:00

Many people here hire a 'Putz Frau' (pron: 'Puts Frow') or Cleaning Lady as standard help. It's not expensive and so not just for the wealthy. It's tempting. But I fear that having someone else clean for me would remove 80% of my reason for being. Measuring by time spent, of course, not by worth. I hope.

A few more ways i've been culture-resistant:

I don't drink carbonated water (though Kevin does).

I make sandwiches for lunch and hot food for dinner rather than the other way around.

At 5:00pm I am starting dinner, not having tea/coffee and cake as an afternoon snack.

I wear shorts. And my husband will never wear a speedo or manpris.

I purposely teach my preschool-age kids academics. At home if necessary. Fully homeschooling is illegal here, and parents are consistantly discouraged from teaching their little kids the basics of reading or math as they would be 'bored in school.' Not many educational options here. But the preschools are thankfully terrific in all other ways.

Our longest vacation might be a week long and we'll stay in 3 different places. We don't have the vacation days or patience to stay in one place for 2 weeks straight. Though I can understand the relaxation benefit potential.

That said, however, there are many ways in which i've adapted and embraced:

I never use ice anymore and get annoyed if we're in a rare European restaurant that puts cubes in my drink.

My children (and I) require at least one warm, salted pretzel a day. Usually as a morning shopping snack. They cost about 50 cents.

I ordered a trend-fashion, black, rectangular-shaped cool pair of glasses yesterday.

I like all hard floors in the main living areas. No stains. More fun for the kids and all their toys on wheels.

At this time I am keeping 5 flower boxes / plants alive (mostly). Something I would never attempt if I didn't live where everyone was raised knowing everything about plants and showcased them in spectacular fashion.

If we have a particularly busy weekend and are running all over I feel somehow robbed.

We're rediscovering new uses for our legs... walking, riding, rolling.

Potty-Time Mary

$wiss $horts

2009-06-16T21:33:00.009+02:00

Flikkema Family Creed #14: "If we go on a vacation, we go all out." That means we go to the top of each building / mountain / structure, ride every available form of transportation, and hire private tours. Gourmet dining is - sadly but understandably - excluded from this creed due to the existence of small children. This creed makes for more memorable vacations with fewer regrets. Until your credit card bill shows up, anyway.

$witzerland is painfully expensive. We've been there twice and are thinking next summer looks good for a third trip. Right after we get our (hopefully large) tax refund. Pretend you're in Chicago and you get your food and drink exclusively from the vendors at Wrigley Field. And you're staying at the Hyatt next door. And taking limos to VIP sites all over town.

Cheapest Meal: approx. $42 lunch of brats, chips, and two shared drinks
Best Find: hidden 40% off coupon (Kevin's addiction for brochure browsing finally pays off) for the most expensive Gondola ride in the area
Most Ridiculous Price: $68 for a used, small cow bell (we declined to purchase it)
Best Deal: for $5 parking we hiked and saw 7 incredible wateralls and 1 cool snake

The best anesthetic to the pain is, of course, Switzerland itself. All the Germans we know go to Austria. It's cheaper, plenty of mountains, and has hotels that cater to families. We may try it out in the Spring. But we love Switzerland. We went before the summer crowds (though we still had to run occasionally to beat out tour busloads) and after the bad weather.

The Good: Mountain tunnels, waterfalls, the apartment, pool slide, watching paragliders, hiking, riding gondolas, summer toboggan runs, train rides and happy kids.
The Bad: Steep inclines with the stroller (oops wrong turn), losing a hat, losing a pillow, losing a sweatshirt, losing a gondola ticket (sigh), bugs, clouded-in mountain peak.
The Ugly: I had to wear my glasses the whole time and the sun was painfully bright. Eli's knees and hands after 4 days of hiking (tripping).

Our children were much happier here than they were in Prague. Coincidentally, we liked them better too. It's the one place we're willing to go back to. Though i'm sure repeat visits is against at least one of our family creeds....

Ahoiy! Bring on the Coleslaw.

2009-06-04T15:26:00.003+02:00

You know what's great about Prague? We had to learn to share. Painful, yes, but we all did a little of what the others wanted and in the end it was a good lesson. I think. Kevin got his viewpoints (that means steps, folks, lots of 'em). Eli got his streetcars, subway trains, and taxis. Mary got her treats. And I got coleslaw. Cabbage, white cabbage, is a staple of the Czech diet and coleslaw comes with every meal. As my family is not as sophisticated as I am, I got 4 helpings.

Here is a slightly generalized breakdown of our activities, below. For more details, see captions of our pics to your right (that way --->).

The black light show was entertaining (Image Theatre) and the kids were rapt. Thankfully, as they were the only children in the large audience. And it seemed like in all of Prague. They are now able to stay up late a night or two, which is very nice, but still not fancy-restaurant-ready. We discovered two more great reasons to travel with your kids. You SAVE MONEY by eating at KFC / McD's instead of gourmet and going to only one show instead of staying out late every night at a club or theatre. Also, and this is important, you arrive VERY EARLY at all the popular sites (while other tourists are sleeping off hangovers) and never need to wait in a line. Plus no one wants to be mean to cute little kids so you get the best viewing spots and seats on the fullest of trams.

More learning for mom and dad. Eli and Mary are, strangely, not as interested in old buildings as we are. And this trip they let us know that. It's getting harder... looking for strange statues that might catch their interest, finding fountains that have fish in them, seeking out a snack shop or toy store for bribes. But they're still tough kids and decent travelers. And so we continue to torture them. We console ourselves with the thought that "one day they'll thank us for this" and trade off city tours with funner, kid-friendlier vacations. Next week: Switzerland. The bikes will be coming along (Mary now has a tricycle) and there are zero old buildings on the schedule.

Nose Drops: Cure for the Common Child

2009-05-16T21:24:00.002+02:00

Modern medicine in Germany has a different twist to it, and it takes some getting used to. Every childhood ailment can, apparently be aided, improved, or cured with saline nose drops. You still need a prescription because there is .001% of something or another in it but they are just nose drops. Let's take a look at the diagnosis.

Cold? (Okay this one I can understand)
Nosedrops.

Ear Infection?
Nosedrops. Antibiotic.

Strep Throat?
Nosedrops. Antibiotic.

Pink Eye? Eye ailment of any kind?
Nosedrops. Eyedrops.

Allergies? Fluid buildup? Cough? Stomach flu?
Nosedrops!

I have not, as yet, needed to bring in a child for a bump to the head or gash in the knee. But i've got four bottles of nosedrops in the cabinet and can treat them myself! When the expat wives get together and trade stories of kids' ailments, this always comes up. At least there is something about childhood illnesses we can laugh about.

Chimney Sweeps & Wish-I-Could-Bleeps

2009-05-11T20:55:00.003+02:00

Go waaaay back and think Mary Poppins... remember the chimney sweeps? That image came rushing back to me on Friday when an honest-to-goodness chimney sweep showed up at my door. He looked exactly like this (including the hat, I kid you not):

Now I hire a chimney sweep service in Iowa and it was a couple colleged kids in t-shirts and jeans. Not the ultra-humble, exceedingly polite and deferential version I found on my doorstep. They didn't speak German either, come to think of it.... He said he'd be back next year. I may ask to take his picture.

---------------------------------

"The payer will pare the pair of pears." You can imagine how this will trip up a new English speaker. Aha! German has some similar challenges. Knowledge is double-edged sword which means I try to say a lot more - as I know more - and I inevitably embarrass myself. Sigh.

For example. I learned this week that every single time we were out walking with the kids and ran across a dog owner out with their pet I asked, for the benefit of my interested children "May she paint your dog?" When my teacher was able to speak again after wiping tears of laughter from her eyes, she explained that the word for "to paint" (streichen) is close to the word for "to pet" (streicheln). Only German ears /tounges get the difference as that one measly 'l' in the petting word is basically silent. Grrr.

And to top it all off I was bragging to a German friend at church, in German, how I was "so proud of myself for SHAVING the grass this week." He stared at me blankly a bit and then burst out laughing. By this time I had caught the mistake and found the correct word - very close but no cigar - and was trying to stop him from telling everyone in the vicinity what I had said. Gah! What's that saying about 'pride cometh before a fall....?' I can tell you with absolute certainty that this is true in regards to speaking a new language. But you will amuse your new friends.

When in Holland....

2009-05-07T10:05:00.000+02:00

...do as they do and eat as they eat. We found some chocolate sprinkles, strop waffles, liverwurst, black licorice and other nastalgic treats. No Wilhemina peppermints though, doggonit.

We....

... stopped to smell the tulips.

... tried on some wooden shoes.

... played in the water. Er, the kids did. Kev and I stayed dry and warm.

... introduced our children to traditional dutch treats (sprinkles! strop-waffles!).

... rode bikes! Well, Eli did anyway.

... tried out the dutch hairdo. I saw this on several women and decided to try it myself.

... walked / biked the canals in towns and country.

... gawked at windmills.

It was a great weekend (but a loooooong drive). On a side note, Mary has finally learned to steer her little car AND is now sleeping in a toddler bed from a friend. She loves it and is doing great. Only diapers are holding her to her babyhood, now, and I don't know when we'll take that on! Travelling makes potty-training tough and although she seems to understand, she's not very interested. My deadline is January when she starts in the Kindergarden.

Eli: 5 Years in the Making

2009-04-28T22:56:00.005+02:00

Eli had a fabulously frenetic 5th birthday weekend with four days of celebrating. Day 1: Zoo with friends. Great large bird / falconer show. Day 2: Party at our house with Deere expat families. On the street. Craziness. Two boys stayed overnight for a sleepover, which leads us to... Day 3: Indoor Playground party with church friends. Exhausting. Day 4: Treats and mini-party at school. Done. Much cake, cookies, cupcakes, brownies, and candy were consumed. Pictures can be found by clicking here.

Best Weekend Moments: Party streamers - not expensive toys - were the hit of the party with the kids wrapping them around each other and running up & down the street; Three exhausted boys telling 'scary' stories and then teaching each other their favorite bedtime prayer; Watching Eli ride his bike and finding out he can do it; Hearing Eli say "I had a great day, mom!" for four days in a row.

I couldn't speak through most of the weekend. But I did cough a lot. The second, stronger antibiotic seems to be working. Finally.

Suddenly a 5-year-old lives here. While he has a few faults (tattle-tales, bossy, argues), he is also perfect. At least to us. In the last year "Mr. E" has accomplished no less than bike-riding, swinging unassisted, buckling his own seatbelt, able to watch 'scary' Disney movies, early reading, near perfect writing, as well as adding/skip-counting/measuring in math. He is a physically more adventurous kid and, since yanking those tonsils last summer, a healthier one too. He also found time to travel heavily, socialize frantically, and get even cuter in the process.

Eli still primarily loves his cars and trains. This year we expanded into Legos and the Wii which has mixed things up a bit. A little pricey but with the added benefit that they are also fun for mom and dad. In his rare free time Eli can be found asking for volunteers to read to/with him, play a board game, or making up rhyming songs. He has his mother's gift for silly poetry, i'm afraid. He is a joy.

Permission slip (not) required.

2009-04-16T22:07:00.010+02:00

Like some jaded expat i'd forgotten some intially startling characteristics of this culture until I found myself explaining them to friend, still new to Germany from the States. We have in the US a very protective (read: lawsuit fearing) culture. This blaming-faulting-madness has not yet reached Europe in force. Evidence our local Kindergarten, which we love without reservation.

Once a month the kids are walked about a third of a mile down the hill, along the traffic-heavy main street to the church for 'Kinder Kirche' (Kids Church). The parents are naturally notified so we can get our children to school early avoiding any delays. Permission needed? Nah.

A few weeks back Eli was selected for a special field trip to the Globus supermarket. Several 4-year-olds and a few teachers walked down the hill, boarded the public bus on the main street for the 1.5 mile trip, traversed an insanely busy parking lot, got toothbrushes engraved with their names and a hot lunch to eat at the in-store cafeteria. I was informed by note the day before to pick Eli up at the market. Signatures Required? None.

Each summer the 30-inch deep pool in the kindergarten's back yard (gated, but not guarded) is cleaned up and readied for special sessions of fun in the sun. Parents have a list: suit, arm-floaties, sunscreen, towel, sunhat. Please bring a backpack and leave it at the school as you never know when it will be your son or daughter's turn in the pool. Detailed Release Forms Declining Responsibility? Nope.

It's refreshing. A little alarming. Definitely different.

Bad Luck

2009-04-16T21:52:00.004+02:00

Beware when in Germany that you don't stumble into bad luck. For instance....

Before taking a sip of wine / beer / beverage when you are out with friends, you must say "Prost" and - this is very important - look into everyones eyes. If you don't, you'll have seven years of bad sex.

If someone should gift you with pearls, they will bring you nothing but tears and sorrow unless you pay them for the gift - even if it is only a dollar - and therefore render it a non-gift and sidestep the curse.

This next one was strongly reiterated to me this week when making plans for Eli's birthday celebrations. His school is closed for a teacher training day on the 24th, his birthday and I wondered if I might bring in treats (standard) the day before to celebrate. A look of horror crossed his teacher's face and she said, very seriously: "No! Never celebrate a birthday beforehand. We will celebrate on the Monday after." Another friend had told me this but, alas, my American brain believes one should celebrate when it is convenient.

Not so here in Germany. Celebrating before your birthday (a special dinner, a gift, a party) will heap bad luck on the special person for the next year. Just. Don't. Do. It.

Ireland: Bring Your Rainboots

2009-04-16T20:08:00.008+02:00

Back from the 'Emerald Isle' and I can say we definitely experienced Ireland's weather, culture, and beauty. The forecast said rain so I bought me some boots and packed the umbrellas and rain coats as well. Wonderful vacation, overall. See the pictures right.

Thursday: Flew in after a good flight and the biggest hassle was getting our rental car (with car seats). Eventually we folded ourselves into a small, backwards Toyota Yaris and crawled out of Dublin. Stopped at Cashel, a monastic site, for a few hours halfway across the country. During the second half of the drive Kevin had to scrape the bushes when other cars passed because the roads are so narrow and constantly turning... it was an experience. Also, they have only two real-ish freeways in the whole country so you spend a lot of time risking your life.

Friday: Saw an aquarium and then drove around the Dingle Peninsula. The sun came out as we neared the tip and we round a corner to an incredible rainbow over the islands just off the coast. Played on the beach - had a blast - and tried to dry Mary out the rest of the day. Ate at the museum for the Great Blasket Island all about the gaelic language and culture - very new and very nice. Then saw lots of beauty the rest of the day driving over a pass and back to our apartment.

Saturday: Our day in and around Killarney National Park was very cloudy, drizzly, and view-limiting. But we did hike to a waterfall, buy some lovely Irish scarves (Kev and I), see a stone circle, and visit an 'historical farm' which the kids enjoyed (especially the blacksmith at work) despite being soaking wet.

Sunday: Left our great apartment and boarded the ferry across the bay and onto the Burren - a barren land - and found the Cliffs of Moher. 600 feet from the top straight down to the sea - they are impressive - and the sun even showed its face so we could enjoy them properly. After a lunch and visit to one last beach Kevin endured one more harrowing drive to Dublin.

Monday: Our last day was cold and wet again but turned out great once we decided to start using taxis to get around and the first one we took brought us to the home of Guiness beer. Fun, modern, interactive showpiece and everyone got free drinks. Kevin got a t-shirt. Then back to Trinity College for a funny tour by a student with heavy Irish brogue. And their old, dark wood-panelled library with ancient books was awesome to see. Could've spent hours there but for a few hungry kids. Back to the hotel for naps. While the kids (and Kevin) were sleeping, I went and bought tickets for Disney on Ice's Nemo, playing a few blocks from our hotel! After some more exploring in the evening the kids got to stay up late and see the show. Loved it. A fun ending to a good family vacation.

Medieval style Asparagus anyone?

2009-04-01T21:17:00.005+02:00

April brings 'spring cleaning' in the States. Here it brings asparagus. Huge, white, rated into 5 categories asparagus stalks everywhere you go. White because the stalks are deprived of sunlight (kept mounded in dirt) and therefore cannot create the chlorophyll to turn green. It's "spargel" season. Last year at the special spargel stand at the store I bought a handful of the middle-rated stalks - about the size of a very large carrot. Dutifully, I also purchased Hollandaise Sauce, as is traditional. After my purchase the clerk put my purchased stalks through a special maching (think classic, old-time popcorn maching but with a dozen blades through the middle). Fed through one at a time, the stalks were spit out the opposite end peeled and ready to boil. Had them that night. They were fine, almost tastless but for the mild sauce. More tender (less chewy) than the skinny greens, perhaps. But we decided this was one German obsession we just don't understand.

And this weekend we will probably end up, once again, at the "Middle Ages Market" as we did last April. And wonder anew at the uber-obsession the people here have with all things medieval, castle-like, and knight-ish. A few examples: more than half of the boys' costumes at Fasching were knights. Every major board game here has a 'medieval version.' Most Christmas markets (including the one we went to in Stuttgart last December) are actually two markets. Modern and - you guessed it - Medieval. In the medieval market the huts are tents. The sellers have period robes on. The handmade products are horns, leather ties, swords & knives, old style candles, and woolen clothing. You will usually also see a falcon or other large bird and more than one horse.

The market last year was a trip. Food was sold on sticks or eaten with hands. Visitors (excepting ourselves) were dressed as if it were 500 years ago and stopped to compare leather money purses and sword sheathes with their friends. We bought one small wooden frog for my collection and some sort of meat on a stick. After avoiding sharp swords swinging from strangers and large hounds that were thankfully tame, we (ran for the hills) went home. If you need roughly sown shawls or chainmail... let me know soon.

What Happens in Mallorca...

2009-03-17T23:17:00.004+01:00

First gals vacation for me and I want more. Sigh. Four outgoing friends + sunny, warm weather + willingness to ignore the budget (temporarily) + determination to laugh = FUN. Low season meant there were no crowds and we only ate good food, served to us by others, while it was still hot! Pure bliss for 4 moms who left 10 children behind with their dads.

View from our balcony, sunrise / moonset on Saturday.

I told Kevin it would not be his thing - he agrees - as it included laying on the beach with visits to the spa and shops and only one token visit to a tourist attraction. So what did he do here on the homefront? Went to a fun museum, the toy store, on walks. They had a great time and missed me not at all. Mary called me 'daddy' all morning and had to be bribed to even give me a hug. Eli wanted presents. I believe this means I should go away more often.

Me, Sarah, Sandra, Jessica

We did what girls do. We blabbed about our personal lives, we vetted each other's outfits before going out, we encouraged each other to spend money, we complained about men, we fought over who would get to pay. And, unavoidably, we bragged on our kids and even our husbands. In between and during chatting (remember, we're all outgoing, so talking was loud and continuous) we hit a few beaches and even got a little sun. We enjoyed the spa at our on-the-beach hotel and the balconies of our next-door rooms with sea views. We ate Pasta, Tapas, Pizza, Indian, and Burger King. We stayed out late dancing (4am, folks) and took long showers. We did not catch up on any sleep. Here's the list of characters:

Sarah: Mom of four. Prone to motion sickness (and therefore permanently in the navigator's seat), curious about the lives of strangers and friendly to a fault. Funniest moment - aiding and abetting an illegal street vendor by yelling "Excuse me! Sir!" and throwing a dropped 'leather' wallet to him as he was running from the police. We saw the car a minute later coming around the corner. Hilarious.

Jessica: Mom of two and new to Germany. This was her first trip since coming here, in fact. Never seen without makeup and needing regular infusions of cafe-au-laits she is a beach lover and an early riser (good thing we roomed together as the other two were not). She was the only one ready to go clubbing a second night! Funniest moment - draping herself reluctantly over a motorcycle for a great sexy photo and making a quick escape before we had to explain ourselves to its owner.

Sandra P.: Mom of two from Ireland (married to a US military contractor). Gut-busting colorful language in an adorable accent and the only non-wine drinker of the group. She made sure we all got 'ice showers' (by throwing it at us) in the spa and educated the rest of us on Indian cuisine. Funniest moment - letting loose in the 70's & 80's club room, singing at the top of her lungs and taking pictures for purposes of evidence - and perhaps bribery - of us all dancing like loons.

Me: Mom of two. Driver for the weekend and the most likely to indulge... in food, spa treatments, shopping. Lone person not seeking coffee infusions, I danced the night away and still couldn't sleep in the next morning. Funniest moment - silly comments and loud singing as well as being a mother hen throughout the weekend making sure everyone was okay.

We're already planning to do it again. The French Riviera is calling our names.

How to Make A German Friend

2009-03-09T22:05:00.003+01:00

About 25 miles from there are 50,000 Americans who sometimes have dreams of "really getting to know Germany and making German friends." This is nearly impossible when most of your business can be done on base (for cheaper) and the German businessess in the area speak perfect English. Neighborhoods are segregated and Kindergartens limit the number of American kids they will accept in order to have places for more permanent residents.

Our chances are far better but by no means guaranteed. And, to save you a year or so on the learning curve, I have some guidelines on how to make a friend as an American in Germany:

#1 Live with them. Do not live in an American neighborhood. You will get a spot in the Kindergarten (eventually) and are not viewed as temporary (though you probably are) and therefore avoidable. Don't have a kid? Get a dog. Just as good in the eyes of many.

#2 Start walking. To the local shops and to school. On the walking paths and all the time (you will see your neighbors out there in the rain and snow). Germans walk often and everywhere and can not continue to ignore you if they keep seeing you.

#3 Be A Pest. Keep showing up at the local celebrations of strange saints' holidays, steeplechase contests and soccer games. You might stand utterly alone for a time but you will lose the tourist label and get a few nods and smiles in your direction.

#4 Start talking. It is a rare person here who will come up to you in welcome. It isn't because they aren't friendly - it's because they don't know if you are - and they don't know what to say. Walk in someone's direction - yes this is hard to do - and introduce yourself in any language and smile big.

#5 Stock Tea. Start inviting and do it first or it won't happen. Cake and coffee/tea on real plates at a set table are standard for afternoon visits (and many have expresso machines). I'm a bit more casual but I have started making sure I have tea and baked goods! Germans make friends for life and stay in contact forever. We don't and they know it. You have to be aggressive or you won't get past that.

#6 Grit Your Teeth. Keep doing all of the above even when you've had it and the smile on your face is plastic. One day you'll have a great conversation or visit with a new friend/neighbor and experience a bit of social euphoria that will carry you through.

(Me and a friend: Claudia Muller)

After finally figuring out what was going on in my neighborhood I started getting involved and it was a true test of endurance. No one talking to me or the (rare) few folks who start out disliking me at the play group, the tumbling hour, the soccer field. I almost quit all of them but kept going. Now they all smile in greeting and I talk to everyone I meet on a walk and it really does feel great. Of course, i've had to start drinking tea and pushing dinner back (schedule of most Germans is later than ours) but I don't mind. A friend - especially one in a faraway land - is worth it.

February Flikkema Fests

2009-02-27T22:17:00.008+01:00

In the USA the month of February is about Valentine's Day. In Germany, Saint Valentine warrants one pathetically small display rack of cards at the store. Most people don't even know when it is. No... here it is all about FASCHING. Basically this day (week) is Carnival or Mardi Gras and in our little town it's celebrated by cutting off ties and making kids go to endless parties. Let me explain.

On the Thursday before Ash Wednesday the men go to work with ugly or old ties on because their female coworkers cut them off right before lunchtime. This happens every year. Kevin has on both occasions "forgotten" to wear a tie. No explanation had been given to me for why this occurs. The kids have a huge all day party at school consisting of eating, dancing to fun music, and parading through the school in a single file line saying "Alle.... Ab!" I believe this means "We look.... ridiculous!" but I could be wrong. And anyway, the kids had a blast at all the celebrations (school, baby playgroup, town party, themed bday party). Kevin and I did not participate though the adults do join in and have their own parties as well. Having seen the costumes for adults in the stores... I was afraid to go. More pics here.

Of course for us February also means we celebrate Mary's birthday. She is now TWO folks. Mary can do everything on her own, thank you. I have found her recently wearing a shirt on her legs, standing next to the potty with her pants down ("Mom! Like Eli!") and digging in the refrigerator which she recently got strong enough to open. We had a small party and she loved opening presents. Mary's personality at 2 is sweet and funny. She loves to dance and is very, very determined. She is always a joy. We are having a blast. For party pics click here.

When a Horse Speaks English

2009-02-15T23:03:00.003+01:00

Playgroup on Thursdays was probably my most frustrating place for language for a long time - still is since they speak in a strong dialect when talking with each other and I cannot understand a thing. BUT things have improved. Jessica (new friend, expat family from Deere, lives 6 houses away from me, two girls same age as my kids) comes. And the ladies there have become friendlier too. We all went to dinner at a Chinese restaurant last Saturday, as well, and had a good time. We laugh at each others' language difficulties and learn a little as well.

So they asked me for an American song to sing with the little kids - my mind goes blank. They suggested I lead them in "Old McDonald Has a Farm." Okay, here goes! No problem on the cow sound... that's the same in both languages. They had funny looks on their faces when I said a Pig says 'oink.' Looked at each other saying 'oink? oooiiiiinnk?' In German books they say something like 'noof'. I chuckled. But things really got humorous when we got to the horse. 'Neigh?' They all looked at me in disbelief. In German, 'nay' is simply 'no' (also in English but we're flexible). Everyone stopped singing. 'Nayee?' 'Naaay?' They just didn't believe me.

I couldn't believe the words came out of my mouth but I actually said (in German): "When a horse speaks English it says 'neigh'." At which point we all cracked up laughing and gave up on the song. Apparently a horse says 'huii' when speaking German.

Just another cultural learning opportunity for me. If you'd like to learn as well, go to the Animal Sounds Lexicon here.

Mountains & Valleys

2009-02-12T21:59:00.002+01:00

Our six-week visit to the states was a buffet of experiences from heart-pumping fun to heart-rending sadness. And everything inbetween. Excellent and exhausting - memories were made (pics to the right). If it were reported in a newspaper it might read something like this:

Headlines - Page 1

"The Flikkema family's quest to get home before Christmas goes from ache to ulcer on the 20th (and 21st) of December - see story page 3."

"Althea Flikkema (Kevin's mom) passed away January 3rd after a battle with cancer - but not before she spent a snowed-in, fun-filled, post-Christmas weekend with her beloved family at a cabin near Hebken Lake. Before she passed she learned of her daughters pregnancy, she played Five Straight with her children, she hugged her grandson and grandaughters and saw the snowman they made for her. God's perfect love and timing were never more evident then during these days."

"When approaching something as big as a knee-replacement operation, Ann Wanders (Sandra's mom) found it was good to have a distraction - like grandkids - and a very caring church family who helped out with child care for Sandra, dinners, etc. The surgery was a success. The recuperation is in progress."

Sports+Leisure - Page 2

"Eli Flikkema got on some skis for the first time in December in Montana - and he liked it! No fear on the lift - tho a bit more on the slopes - he survived two different days of mom and dad's tips and is eager to try again soon. Skiing buddy and cousin Johnny could've done with a bit more fear, but was impressive to watch. Sandra and Kevin skied on other days with other folks too and reacquainted themselves with the face-numbing, knee-paining, gear-hauling joy of playing in the powder."

"The other major pasttime for children and their keepers was sledding. In Big Sky near a ski hill, by the Wanders' house at the park, and at River Rock on Christmas Day... everyone got in on the fun. Mary was reluctant but Eli was fearless, a big change from earlier in 2008."

"Sandra and her other sisters (Janelle, Nicole) spent one day at the spa getting girly, swimming in a heated pool while snowflakes landed in their hair, getting treated, and enjoying. While the 1.5 hour trip home was the most challenging driving (blizzard, visibility = nil) Sandra has done to this point in her life, it was worth it."

"Pup-tent camping in Florida with the 5-member Moss family (Sandra's sister) added a whole new chapter to Sandra's camping experiences log. It was cold. The trees were beautiful. And the wildlife was plentiful. Beating off raccoons (literally. thankfully the kids were in the camper), chasing turkey buzzards, waiting for a wild boar to cross the road, and watching armadillos rustle for food was a true nature experience. The adults didn't sleep due to comfort issues and some crazy bird that sends mating calls at 2am, but the kids had fun."

"Finally, when the excitement has been too much, train-spotting in Indiana was an activity the children could do for hours on end. Eli and his Grandma also learned how to play SkipBo."

Travel+Weather - Page 3

"The Flikkemas quest to get home (continued from page 1) started out simply enough. But one pilot was missing due to illness and the FAA's rules are lame due to bureaucracy. In short, the plane had to land in Maine to await another pilot who was coming from New York (see note on Delta) before it was allowed to go on to Cincinnati. NY was under a blizzard closure (Delta's decision makers are dumb for unknown reasons. Pilot from Atlanta next time please?). The plane - with said Flikkemas and other victims on board - sat on the tarmac of a small Maine airport for 4 HOURS awaiting aforementioned pilot. No getting off. Only trips to the cockpit and taking breaths of fresh air out of the open boarding door were allowed. Eventually they flew the last 2 hours to Cincinnatti and were immediately shoved aboard a late, late flight to Salt Lake. Arriving at midnight they got to a hotel and a bed around 1am. Back to the airport in Salt Lake early in the morning. Long, long lines and people sleeping against walls. No room on the planes for perhaps a couple of days. Thanks but no thanks. Kevin called Hertz. The family got in a car and drove the remaining distance (about 6-7 hours) to Montana. A 44 hour trip finally ended. The family survived (barely) and had much smoother trips - problem free - during the rest of the trip."

"From freezing their fingers on ski lifts to soaking their shorts in the ocean, the Flikkemas experienced it all this time around. Even Florida gave them hot and cold in one short week. Amazingly, Sandra and the kids outran all illnesses save one stomach-emptying incident for Mary in a McDonalds (travel weary, probably). Unfortunately, Kevin - having come back 3 weeks early, working, skiing with buddys somewhere in Austria, and wearing himself out - has been fighting illness since the middle of January. Exhaustion was the bigger problem for the entire family. Perhaps the next vacation should be a restful one. Ha!"

Business+Money - Page 4

"The only business that gets done on vacation time is family business. And that's a good thing. Much of it was fun. For a week or two much of it was hard. Having shouldered much in the last year while Althea was ill, Matt had his kids - all six of them - to help carry the load during the toughest days. God is good."

"Vacation Tip #32: When renting a car on vacation... Do NOT reserve less than 20 minutes ahead of time, request a booster seat, or rent one way to a small town like, say, Bozeman Montana. Doing so will result in a large hit to your credit card. However, when your other choice is to risk not getting home for Christmas (such as in this entirely "hypothetical situation"), do it. And be grateful it was there to rent at all."

Life+Entertainment - Page 5

"Following a big family hike, in the snow, to frozen-over Grotto Falls, the clan experienced a classical memory-making moment in the parking lot: babies locked in the truck. To keep the girls warm (Mary - almost two, Hanna - just turned one) someone put them in the truck..... with the keys. Mary is almost two. She did what comes naturally at this age and pulled levers, turned the wheel, pushed buttons. Including the 'lock' button. The next 20 minutes were a comical mix of pleading, teaching, cajoling, and jimmying that finally resulted in Mary pushing the 'unlock' button on the keyfob. She got to be the star/hero (as well as the culprit, though that is debatable) and enjoyed every minute of the entire incident. A few were worried. Sandra thought it was hilarious. Hanna slept through the whole thing."

"Sidebar: How to Build a Snow Cave! You will need: 3 grown men with advanced educational degrees, 3 large shovels, 2 small shovels, and 1 stick to poke randomly through the snow searching for a way through. Also, 1 excited 4-year old boy for motivation. Begin with a large, plowed hill of snow. Add two days of free time, snow gear, fireplaces for warming/drying, and hot chocolate breaks. Result: one cool cave with two entrances, a snow chair, and even a diversion tunnel (for 4-year old boys)."

Editorial+Opinion - Page 6

"If there is one thing children - and parents - never tire of, it is the simple and cost-free pleasures of being. Snowball fights, making a snowman and snowangels, sledding, doing the 'Flikkema Flip' with Papa, reading books, throwing bread crumbs into a pond, playing at the park, finding sticks, wrestling with uncles, taking 'horsey rides' on Grandpa and 'bull rides' on Bill, watching trains.... and doing all of them with the people who love them the most. The simplest things are the most wonderful - God designed it that way. Our children don't have a clue what it is to not be loved. And neither do we."

"More people were kind to us, showing God's love to us (without even a thought) on this trip than can be mentioned in this blog. In short: Wanders of Belgrade, Bethel Church Family, Distant Family (Close Friends), Neighbors, Old Friends (thanks for wrapping your arms around us over the internet and phone lines), FeG Church in Germany, Greene Road Church in Goshen, and the rest of you. We noticed. We thanked God for you. We love you."

Coming Out of the (Christmas) Closet

2008-12-19T22:50:00.004+01:00

I'm ready to come right out with it and admit that I love Christmas. My husband will be shocked, embarrassed, and saddened at this admission but I can't hide it anymore. It's just fun. Eli is singing Advent songs (in German) constantly and listens to the Psalty's Christmas tape several times each day (okay, that one I don't love). Mary often points to the star at the top of our tree ("stah!, stah!") and I've caught both of them playing with the ornaments and snow globe (I need to find a nativity set they can play with - let me know if you have ideas). It started early for us with St. Nicolas Day - the kids got smaller gifts...

Throughout December my favorites are reading the Christmas stories, special candles, giving gifts to our friends and neighbors, and of course watching the kids open presents. We did BIG Christmas for the kids early as we leave tomorrow morning for the States. Adopting the European tradition of wooden toys, Eli received two big trucks (dump truck and auto transporter with 2 wooden cars) and Mary has her kitchen (with pots, cooking utensils, tea set). They love them and we've had hours of fun playing since opening them last Saturday.

I always feel especially blessed this time of year remembering what an incredible gift Jesus was and is to us and how much of a blessing it is to give to others and share the real story of Christmas. Merry Christmas to all of you and God Bless!

Surviving (December) to Tell the Tale

2008-12-15T23:19:00.000+01:00

Advent is a strange time of year here in Germany. Celebrated to a greater degree then Christmas and completely secular, it is primarily characterized by candles, singing about St. Nicolas, and Stollen (like fruit cake, but tastes good). The absolute must for every household, indeed for every person in that household, is an Advent Calendar with 24 little doors (for each day of December before Christmas Day) containing chocolate or toys or pictures of naked people. Yes. You read that correctly. Advent Calendars come in every variety, none of them remotely related to the story of Christ. Eli was given a HotWheels version by our neighbor. Not surprisingly, he likes it.

December 6 is, of course, Saint Nicolas Day, when children put a boot or shoe outside the door the evening before and find a small toy, chocolate, oranges, and nuts inside in the morning. Plus many parties with appearances by Santa and more of the same (I have a LOT of oranges and cheap chocolate bars in residence at this time). Last weekend was overwhelming with a soccer celebration (Eli did get a cool bag with his initials monogrammed on it), tumbling class party, and a birthday party at our neighbors house... which brings me to my next point.

Mothers really should trust their instincts when it comes to 'gut feelings' about their children getting sick, even before the evidence is in. We were invited to our neighbors' birthday party. This is a big deal. Birthdays are very important days to adults in Germany and to be invited to a party means you are finally IN, accepted and all that. Just before walking over, Eli seemed a bit unwell and I wondered.... So we are there for 5 minutes and just about to partake of a spread of food better than a cruise line buffet when Eli sits down on the floor and throws up. Everywhere. How very, very awkward. Despite being a no-child couple, they are child-lovers and were gracious while I apologized profusely. Kevin carried him home, I cleaned up and nobody got to eat.

We survived a crush of people at the Stuttgart Christmas Market last Sunday and sent Eli to school on Monday. This was not wise. Tuesday at 4am he began barking (coughing) like a seal between crying fits. Sigh. So he was home for two days and I desperately tried to keep him busy. I hope we can make it through these current school-spread bugs before we fly.

What else happened last week? Oh yes. Mary got a shot and our much-loved doctor said she's leaving the practice. Eli put my razor in his mouth to see 'what would happen' (we have discovered that it causes the tongue to bleed painfully) and he knocked over some candles with burning hot wax onto the table. Another party in the freezing cold for the toddlers with Saint Nicolas on a horse (Mary was the only child not afraid of him). Finally, Thursday, I continued the fun by deciding to make shaped sugar cookies with the kids. The kitchen looked like a war zone and my heart rate has still not returned to normal. I believe the kids had fun cutting shapes but it was hard to tell with all the flour, sugar, fighting for cookie cutters and dough real-estate, shoving to get bite-sized doughy snacks, and general chaos. No, I did not remember to take pictures. But I did when we decorated on Friday.

And December isn't even half done yet.

Put Away the T-shirts

2008-12-03T23:11:00.003+01:00

Eli has learned that God sometimes answers prayer in his favor. He asked for snow. It came. This is more surprising than usual since none came last year. A few Saturdays back the kids are jumping on us in our bed (at what age can parents bar the children from invading their room?) and we suggested that Eli look out the window. It is 8:00am. SNOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! A cacophony of excited yelling, quick dressing, and loud breakfast immediately followed. We were fully geared and outside by 9:00am. And we were the only people outside. Our children made the first boot-prints on the nearby soccer field, several snow angels, and threw snow balls. We had no plans that day and it was our best family day in a long, long time. We played for an hour, drank hot chocolate, decorated the house for Christmas, and found a tree that afternoon. The kids were in heaven. It was great.

My Portion & Dessert

2008-11-19T23:35:00.005+01:00

Cruising was good. Will I cruise 10 times a year and vacation no other way? No. But I did enjoy not cooking, not cleaning and seeing cool places while staying in one place. That was really the best part. And the staff actually do customer service, all the time. Dubrovnik was the coolest, Santorini the prettiest, and Kusadasi/Ephesus the most interesting. And Venice I just loved with all the time we spent there. I gained 5 pounds and one truly authentic Turkish rug. I plan to hang it on a wall some day soon.

Hope mom & dad enjoyed it. We did. And we're really glad they came. One of the surprises was the quality of the nightly entertainment - only 3-4 of which we caught. Full of talented dancers and singers that put on rousing shows I liked. The biggest disappointments were corny 'directors' (of the cruise experience, of the port experience) who were full of themselves and sounded like infomercials. We ignored them. My experience proved my practice... heavily research, plan, and negotiate your own vacation - no matter the 'all-inclusive' promises and deals. You will always come out better in the end - financially and experientially.

After a long battle in which I finally vanquished the laundry pile, we returned to normal life. The St. Martin Lantern Walk with the kindergarten (kids eat giant bread-men and adults drink strong wine after), Parents' Night for Eli's class (he is one of the kids they have zero worries about), Mary's first hair trim (she watched daddy and Eli go first so no problems), and organizing the growing local John Deere expat group. I missed a lot of regular neighborhood thingys and friends over the last 6 weeks so have been catching up socially and getting back into homeschool with Eli - who begs constantly to do math, of all things.

Somewhere in there we had a genuine Thanksgiving Dinner at church with yum yum turkey and stuffing. I had to bring the homemade Mac-n-Cheese.... huh? They swore it was traditional in the South. New to me but I followed orders and the crockpot was empty at the end of the night.
But mostly I have been preparing for CHRISTMAS! I think it's more exciting when you have excited kids. I can't wait for the kids to open presents and have been diligently preparing by tossing old toys and looking for a new toy cabinet. More to come.

Mary's Portion

2008-11-10T22:24:00.007+01:00

The life of a celebrity is so very demanding. On this trip I perfected my 'camera smile' and 'goodbye kiss' for my fans (cruise staff) and the paparazzi (other tourists). I caused grown men to sigh and ask for pictures and consented to hair-touching by strangers from around the world. Mom is threatening to dye my hair a very dark color. I also learned how to be very certain I get the attention I require... I hit the nearest parent and yell MOMMY! or DADDY! repeatedly, loudly, relentlessly. It works quite well. I tried to hurt myself in a variety of ways climbing the ladder to "Eye-Yigh's" bunk on the ship (that's how I say Eli) or going down the stairs (do NOT help me) and asserted my independence to the great amusement of Grandpa Wanders who kept saying "She is a piece of work!" to my mommy. A college student we met in Venice (as she was taking my picture and talking to Grandma) was majoring in Child Development. She said "try to keep her alive until she grows up and becomes the President or a CEO, then you'll be fine." I don't know what that means but mommy and daddy went to bed exhausted every night.

Our first sea day I woke up with a fever and it stayed with me all day. All I wanted to do that day was sit in mommy or daddy's lap. I didn't play with toys, eat, or walk around. Given my usual persona this was highly alarming to my parents. But I was fully recovered after a few naps and a full nights sleep for our adventure in Ephesus the following day. Phew! Too much travelling and excitement for me, I guess. On a few occasions throughout the week I allowed Grandpa (with ice cream) or Grandma to hold me or take me on a walk. I liked mini-golf, climbing rocks, and spotting animals (cats absolutely everywhere in Dubrovnik and Ephesus; dogs in Santorini, fish in Venice) wherever they could be found. I'm turning into a good traveller (even on plane trips! SHORT plane trips!) and invite (dare) you to come and try it with me.

The Main Course: Eli's Portion

2008-11-08T14:01:00.011+01:00

My favorite activity in all our mediterranean stops (especially in Venice) was chasing pigeons. It was my goal to get them to fly away but they were too well fed and too used to people so I had to work hard! Here's a video of me in St. Marks Square.

I loved our cruise! Especially Club Ocean. It was so much fun. The teachers blew up a volcano and took us on lots of fun walks around the ship like the Pirate Parade, the Alien Hunt, and Trick-or-Treating on Halloween. I made lots of friends there and other places too. Marie was also from Germany but the teachers didn't speak German so I helped them talk to her sometimes. We even had kids' dinner two times. Plus movies, crafts, toys and songs. Heaven!

I could have hot dogs, cookies, and apple juice all day long on the ship. One day I played Dominoes with Grandma in the library. And we played miniature golf a few times too. All the workers were really nice and always gave us stuff... like chocolates before bedtime and animals made out of towels in our room. I needed a nap every day since I was staying up so late at Club Ocean (10pm most nights) and walking all over the place when we docked. One day we walked 12 kilometers (that's 8 miles for you folks on the US system) across the island of Santorini in Greece!! Two dogs followed us the whole way. They were nice but I was nervous for awhile around them. It was a very hard hike but I'm a 'trooper' said mom and dad and I made it.

Mom and Dad were laughing because I make friends (blond women in their 20's; children of all ages) wherever I go and strangers always seem to know my name. Greetings come my way at the weirdest places... an out of the way restaurant in Dubrovnik, Croatia (blond girl I met walking around the ship); the palace in Venice (Marie from Germany); and at the airport just before coming home (some kids from the club). And I made some moves on Holly, the just married young woman at our dining room table. Her new husband, Michael, was laughing because I asked Holly to sit with me by the window for awhile and told her secrets and smiled at her.

I loved all the boats in Venice and riding on the Vaporettos (like public buses) and the Gondola. In Turkey I learned how to make rugs and roll them up and even saw a "flying carpet." Sometimes I rode on Grandpas shoulders or held Grandmas hand while we walked. It was a wonderful vacation.

An Appetizer

2008-11-05T22:37:00.006+01:00

For a brief period B.C. (Before Cruise) we did a few day trips... Heidelberg, Germany; Beaufort Castle in Luxembourg; and Bastogne, Belgium.

This is your appetizer before the main course - which will be delectable cuts of personal cruise vacation perspectives embellished with superlative gravy on a bed of anecdotes. Enjoy with your choice of 'whine.'

Poor dad. He flies into Frankfurt and has to wander around looking for us in a mess of an airport (fog, accidents, traffic delays) and then gets dragged out for the day to Heidelberg: a beautiful city he probably barely noticed due to yawning, sleep-deprived eyes. BUT once I got there (again, slightly lost) we had a nice couple of hours people watching and walking in central Germany. The highlight for me was the student prison, used from 1798 - 1910 to hold unruly students for 3 day detentions for such crimes as snuffing out street lamps or chasing pig farmers through the streets. Silhouette graffiti art made with candle soot was actually pretty cool. We bribed the kids with ice cream and a giant gummy bear to keep them going. The catechism was written here, a welcoming town for Protestantism when it was still a new and rebellious idea.

A few days later we drove out of miserable weather to Luxembourg and explored a fabulous ruins castle with cellars, passageways, and fun rocks to climb before continuing to Bastogne in Belgium. Dad's uncle was a 'Bastard of Bastogne' in one of the most significant WWII battles and we saw the interesting museum and memorial there. We all had the audio-tour guides (like a phone you hold to your ear as you walk and listen) BUT mine was irretrievably stolen by a little blond thief in need of entertainment. The movie about the battle of Bastogne was really, really informative and inspiring and made me proud of America. Had dinner in a cute little cafe where I had to practice my French before heading home. it was a great day all around.

My pastor came for dinner one night and talked with dad, lots of fun, and we all went to the Kite-Fest for Eli's class in the hills above our house on a cold, windy day before heading for the warmth of the Mediterranean.... and with that last tasty morsel, be on the lookout in days to come for more good stuff.

Sweetness & Strasbourg

2008-10-15T22:35:00.004+02:00

It didn't start out too well. Mom's (mine) first trip to Europe heralded grey and rainy skies and fog. Lots of fog. Her 2nd day here we went to Luxembourg to find the Valley of the Seven Castles. Disaster. Rain, cold, and construction meant everything was closed or impossible to enjoy. Sigh. But the weather did improve last week and German locals came through... Mom met many friendly, wonderful people.

Eli's teacher, who tried so hard to impress her.
The local flower shop owner, who presented her (and Mary) with a single rose one morning when we stopped by (which caused me to buy more flowers for my porch).
My elderly neighbor, who begged us to come for tea and then presented, on fine china, a homemade, incredible cheesecake, several teas, and good conversation.
Our good friend from the local bank, who came over for dinner and brought mom an autumn bouquet.
My German language teacher, who gave us several ideas of places we could go and see.
The pastor and his wife at church, who engaged her and a British couple in conversation for half an hour.
and more....

I think she's ready to move here permanently. The people, rather than the sight (which have improved, see below) seem to have won her over - just as they have me this past year.

Nanstein Castle was our first foray into tourism after Luxembourg and she was impressed with her first ruins romp. Then Saturday we decided to dare the skies and head south and east into France. It was fog soup the whole way there and then, as we reached the city limits, sunshine! Lovely, 75 degrees, cathedral and carousel and riverboat tour and street performers galore. Saw a few cute villages on our way home, as well. I may dare again this Friday and Saturday.

Note to Self: The next time we move to Europe and expect visitors, buy a minivan. Guess who gets to sit in between two large car seats filled with cranky attention-hungry children in her own car? It's more than worth the mental pain and physical bullying (Mary does NOT like it when I touch her armrest, like I have a choice)... but I also need a good 2-hour break from my kids afterwards.

Realities of The Rhine

2008-10-02T23:19:00.007+02:00

Ahhh, The Rhine. Romantic castles, incredible views, and tourists. It felt a little bit like being on a foreign game show where players' expectations don't quite match up with the reality of experience. Our odd impressions and pictures are below. Having said that - I can't wait to go back. It is beautiful. The castles are cool. The trip (in August) was great.

There really are castles everywhere you look on this section of the Rhine and it is impressive, especially from the river. We went to one 'ruins castle' where you can explore freely, and one 'tour castle' where you have a guide to see the restored inside rooms (not as much fun but cool to learn about). And we rode a river boat, the train, and a ferry. The ferry rides were Kevin's first and I think he liked it. We rode it five times. There are no bridges over the Rhine for 60 miles so ferries are necessary, plentiful, and fun.

Odd Observation #1: There is no shortage of flying insects on the Rhine. Be prepared to do battle for your food. You may have paid for it but he flies and the bees.... they want it. And they are persistent - indoors and out. Meals were all-out war zones with menus and hands waving and they were, unfortunately, long. I would love to 'do as the Europeans do' and linger over a long and lazy meal. But I have two kids. Who do not linger well when hungry. And I hate insects. Particularly those that fly.

Odd Observation #2: There is a shortage of blonds in Europe and particularly among tour groups. We've run into this before being (often) the only tourists with two cute little kids around. But Mary, with her platinum hair, gets celebrity-level attention. This was particularly strong attention to the point we were dodging tour groups and Kevin was getting upset. Strangers wanted to hold her (and tried to lure her from my arms) and numerous home movies and photos were taken, all featuring Mary. I said it was fine but I would hold her, thank you, and would have to be in the pictures too. Finally we just had to avoid them. Don't be afraid to bring your cute little towheads to Europe... just make sure they wear hats.

Odd Observation #3: We used to be the enemy and sometimes it still feels strange. The plaque in one very touristy town stated (in English) that 23 little kids and teachers died at a Kindergarten during an allied bombing raid. It's so sad to think my country was the likely bomber, but that the war against Germany was necessary back then, however we feel no animosity toward each other as people now, and how odd it all is, 62+ years later.

...education, in progress.

One Year On / A Friend!

2008-09-28T21:28:00.004+02:00

Exactly one year and two days ago we arrived weary, confused, and cold in a strange country that was gray and rainy and impossible (at that time) for us to understand. My, how things have changed. God's grace got us through those first very, very rough weeks and then the rough couple of months that followed. And here we are. A year later and I can be grateful that:

I no longer go to bed early with headaches from brain-strain. Now I just stay up too late.
We rarely need to throw out scary 'adventurous' foods anymore.
This is home (apologies to offended family members).
We have successfully, though not without hilarity, travelled with our kids.
We have many friends, a busy social life, and a good church.
I can have a simple conversation with my neighbors, and I even like them.
My kids are healthy, happy, and humbling (to me).

Honestly, we love having visitors from the States. Please. Come visit us. Our rules are simple. You must stop by, use us for a base, or let us meet you for a day or two at least. BUT you must also venture forth on your own and explore this very interesting area of the world. Tough love. My old friend Deb came this week after hanging out with her husband (then he left to join his dad). Kevin was gone so it was us girls and the kids. We had a good visit and I really enjoyed having a girlfriend around to talk to. We even went to Luxembourg for a day. Then Kevin came back from Iowa and brought me lots of goodies. What was I most excited to see? Vanilla. As in vanilla extract for baking. Pathetic, but thrills come cheap when you're desperate for good old American basics.

Trouble

2008-09-14T22:14:00.002+02:00

Our beautiful daughter is smart, determined, and on a collision course with danger. She watches and then continues trying until she figures out how to do something. Here, she is disabling the child safety lock to the cupboard with the garbage and cleaning supplies (which have now been moved to a shelf six feet high). She's also recently been caught carrying around a knife, standing on the kitchen table after moving the counter height chairs back and pulling herself onto them to get up there, and purposely laying on her back under the bath water where she can't get back up. And she's very close to running. We're afraid to even leave her in another room.

How to Say "I'm American!" Without Words

2008-09-07T21:44:00.010+02:00

First, some humorous mistakes I've made that I'll share... for your enjoyment.

#1 Before our summer sojourn and immediately after I wondered why our dishes and glasses were so cloudy coming out of the dish washer. On my next trip to the store I took a closer look at the cleaning aisles. I saw the tabs I use in the dish soap aisle - okay. Then I saw them (again?) in the laundry soap aisle! Huh? Wouldn't you know they look identical and come in the same size/color boxes except for the instructions on the back. You can guess what was wrong. Freshly laundered wine glass, anyone?

#2 I always wondered why my first playdate with a German neighbor didn't go that well many months ago. A boy in Eli's class invited him for the afternoon and we went - it was awkward and tough discussion for a few hours before we left. Come to find out recently through some German acquaintances that when an invitation is issued for Eli... it's just for him. I wasn't supposed to barge in with my daughter and stay!! Horror! She still says hello to me but there haven't been any more invitations. Oops.

Summer, especially, has revealed some noticeable differences in our two cultures that I'll call: How to say "I'm American!" without words.

Wear shorts. In Germany, the only shorts you can even find to purchase are jogging or exercise shorts. That goes for men and women. Otherwise you wear capri's. That also goes for men (they all wear them) and women. And if you're going swimming? Wear speedos... tops optional. Again, that's for men and women.
Wear your wedding ring on your left hand. In Europe, wedding rings are worn on the ring finger of the right hand. Feels too weird to us, though.
Wear khaki's. Kevin learned this at work, and it's true. Professional men in Germany do not look like they could leave work immediately for the golf course without changing.
Have your fork with your right hand. The fork never touches the right hand in Germany. You don't cut with it and you don't eat with it. Fork in left, knife in right, no exceptions.
Hug your friends in greeting. I've quickly learned to become comfortable with the double-cheek-kiss greeting with guys and gals alike. Kevin is still working on it.
Start drinking your beer / wine immediately. You always, always say 'Prost!' and clink glasses while making eye contact (VIP) before taking a sip. This rule holds even when a coupla guys are going out for a few beers.
Dress casually. This is my most regular infraction and may have been mentioned before. A German does not leave the house in the morning, even if they are only going to the post office, without doing their hair, donning makeup (women only), and shining their shoes (which, by the way, should be boots 90% of the time).

Now you know what to do if you are looking to fit in... or stand out.

The European Way

2008-09-01T21:52:00.009+02:00

You may already know that Europeans often take the month of August off. Entirely. This is easy to do when one has 6+ weeks of vacation to burn each year. Well.... my absence from the blog this past month was unintentional (lazy?) but, I like to think, very "European." Anyway, please forgive me. I'm emerging from my summer haze and will be getting rapidly back on track. This post will have to be updates on summer happs and the next will be more strange things about being American in Germany. Being gone awhile changes ones perspective all over again, at least temporarily.

ELI: Removing this child's tonsils was our wisest decision this year. His appetite is up 90%. His whining is down by 90%. He is happier when he wakes up, needs no naps, and needs far less disciplinary intervention. While I'm sure there are coincidences as well as causes here, we like it. In fact, I'm thinking mine ought to come out.... I could do with a better attitude myself. Eli's social calendar is currently busier than ours with soccer, tumbling, school and playdates. Sadly, he had a cavity this summer and it was not a pretty scene. But he is mature enough to understand why it was needed. He really is a great kid.

MARY: Our own little 'Dennis the Menace' is at least as social as her brother and now has mommy-and-me playgroup as well as tumbling on her weekly calendar. She says 'heis' (hot) and 'tschuss' (bye-bye) in German and 'Maaaahh' (mom) and 'Doddee' (daddy, Eli, dog) in English. She says many, many other words and screeches in her own language as well. She is also a celebrity at church and when we travel (story to come on the Rhine trip). She revels in the attention and is an opinionated, overly-dramatic tomboy. She's also incredibly cute.

KEVIN: Struggling to hold a 3-person team together with one going to the states, soon, for a 2-year assignment and another laid up for 2 months following a bad fall off of her horse. Trying to find some employees and do work occasionally. This good man almost always comes home in time for dinner and always, always comes home in time for me to go to German class, Bible Study, or get my haircut. Plus he meets me in town for tough doctors appointments.

ME: I gained a bit of weight back during my States stay and have been slowly but surely losing it since getting back. Strange. Really feeling like this is my neighborhood lately and talking to lots of moms, getting together for playdates and talking... it's a good feeling. Looking forward to welcoming possibly two new Deere families to our area (only three families right now) this fall and - are you sitting down? - starting some homeschooling with Eli. I know, I know. This from the mom who looks for places her kids can go away from the house. But Eli wants so badly to read (already does most 3-letter words) and asks math questions all day long. These are things he won't get in school. Found a cool christian homeschooling company through a friend and will spend 30-60 minutes a day with Eli working on a rounded program. Not hardcore yet, we'll see how it goes. It can only happen when Mary is asleep anyway.

Golf - Scotland

2008-07-27T20:54:00.002+02:00

As Sandra mentioned...I spent last weekend in Scotland golfing. As most of you know - Sandra, Eli, and Mary stayed in Montana for an additional three weeks after I returned to Germany. Somewhat by coincidence, the other Deere expat family in Zweibruecken (John, Sarah, and their 4 kids) are in the same situation for most of July - John in Germany and the family in the States. It soon became obvious that John and I had to go golfing somewhere for a weekend while our wife's and kids were away. What a better place then St. Andrews!
Little did we know what it takes to actually play the Old Course....a Handicap Index, entering the Ballot, and of course having decent weather. We learned at 5Pm on Friday (just prior to our departure for the airport) that we were on the Ballot for 11:10 Saturday morning. Having a tee time on the Old Course was our main objective for the weekend. The course is closed on Sunday, so the only other day would have been Monday as we flew home on Tuesday morning. In route to the airport, I called Carnoustie and was given a tee time for Monday. The weekend was falling together better then could be expected. We played the Castle Course (the 7th course at St. Andrews which opened just this summer) on Sunday. Photos from the weekend:

We experienced all the weather that Scotland could throw at us. We teed off on the Old Course in a pouring rain - that rain suite in my bag finally paid off. It rained and blew steadily through the first 4 or 5 holes. As should have been expected, the course layout played directly into the wind going out. I am looking forward to 2010 when the Open returns to the Old Course, it will be a new experience seeing the Pros play it now. Sunday brought another experience, clear blue sky's....with a 30+ mph wind. The Castle course is built on a bluff over the North See just outside of St. Andrews - spectacular views - a true Links experience. Monday brought us to Carnoustie with perfect weather which was needed. From my perspective, the most difficult test of the weekend. Long par 4's and numerous deep bunkers, as well as the Barry Burn which has an amazing ability to attract golf balls.
My play was less then great - I really had no expectations having not played since last summer. I would love to go back and give it another try someday....let me know if you are interested!

Where in the World...

2008-07-18T23:14:00.004+02:00

I'm thankful Eli is so adaptable as he hasn't been sure of the state (or country) we're in for several weeks now. On August 1st we will return to Germany after 9 days in Arizona and 4+ weeks here in Montana.

For Kevin and I it has been largely a fun, sleep-deprived, crazy vacation. I've had a few mini-breakdowns (see Eli's update) and Kevin is now golfing in Scotland (yes, I'm serious). These last few weeks 'should' be more relaxed and, hopefully, doctor free.

Mary has started hitting, trying to run and swim (read: head injuries and chlorine swallowing), and forming words. She's also been teething and therefore not sleeping. All animals are still 'doggies' that say 'moo' but there are signs she is differentiating now. And she is wise enough to maintain her charming cuteness in order to avoid serious consequences after she empties cupboards or dumps her food bowl or hits me in the face.

Eli made it through Arizona only to get an infection (that's SIX since March) on our travel day to Montana.... it was not pretty as I had little pain relief medicine. Thus started the saga: Urgent Care the next morning, ENT the day after that, heavily-drugged reunion weekend, lots of phone calls to other ENT's and finally a 2.5 hour trip to Billings with an ENT that had an opening. He listened to our whole sordid story and did surgery this past Monday, in front of his other patients already scheduled, to accommodate necessary recovery time before travelling. The doctor said the tonsils he removed were big and ugly. Eli is 5 days out as of today and doing really quite well with some pain but no bleeding. He's been active, having fun with cousins and new friends, getting spoiled and farming with Grandpa.

Other than that we've been shopping, gaining weight (unfortunately), and enjoying the beautiful summer weather with trips to Yellowstone and the County Fair. Althea (Kevin's mom) has been doing fabulously and taking care of me while I attempt to take care of the kids. I drag her out of the house once or twice a day for kid-friendly activities and then we all come back for afternoon naps. It works out pretty well.

I'm glad we're staying so long in Montana. It is definitely (as always) by God's design.

Share and Share Alike

2008-06-13T11:59:00.002+02:00

WARNING: Complaining Ahead! Ahh, sharing. That most important life lesson that toddlers struggle with each and every day. Our children don't want to share their toys, their snacks, or their mommy's lap. One thing they seem to have no problem sharing is germs. As Eli was finishing up his 3rd round of antibiotic for strep this week, Mary finally succombed. I brought her in on Tuesday with general crankiness and they found strep and an ear infection. Eli finished his medicine on Thursday morning. Today (Friday) he woke up screaming with a slight fever. Against all odds and most of my doctor's experience (even she is surprised now), he has strep - ONE DAY after his last sickness. And possibly stomach flu since he's trying to throw up and complaining about his tummy. So this is #4 in four months, not including the whole Mono incident. We now have more bottles of medicine in the refridgerator than food items. The doctor wonders if he may have a condition where strep lives permanently in his mouth. May need to test for that after returning from the States with an ENT Specialist. The fun continues.

So we have things to discuss regarding our trip coming up... do we find a pediatrician in Arizona or Montana to get another doctor's thoughts on the situation (we may have to, anyway, for more medicine)? Do we keep Eli away from everyone in fear that he is potentially contagious unless on an antibiotic? Can we even stay at Mom & Dad's in Montana with Mom's immune system knocked low by her chemotherapy? Please say a prayer for us this week and for Eli. I'm begging God for a healthy boy for 6 weeks in the USA and a little wisdom and rest as well.

Mary Contrary / German Philosophy on Children

2008-06-08T21:20:00.001+02:00

First, our most important news... "Stubborn Girl Walks!!" Click on the links below to see the videos (couldn't get them into the blog, don't know why). Mary has joined the toddler club.

#1 Stubborn Girl Walking
#2 Mary Gets Bribed

We are exceedingly grateful. Mary is a determined "I'll do it!" kid and sometimes bully about almost everything. Finally she has added walking to her repertoire. Today she walked the main floor circuit twice, grinning, just to show me she could do it now. While my biceps may start to weaken (currently I can carry two children across a foreign city for miles) I am just glad we can put her down on the ground without worrying about her looking for disturbing things to eat... I caught her licking an ant off the floor last week.

Speaking of eating. Look who's feeding herself now. Last week we gave Mary a spoon and bowl at mealtimes. Just what she had been waiting for, apparently. Now we receive high-pitched lectures, withering glares, and hand slaps (our hands, that is) if we attempt to help her get food on the spoon or, heaven forbid, touch her bowl. I am going to try to get her 'death stare' on camera soon. We laugh and wonder if she will go to Hollywood instead of college someday.

But she LOVES her big brother. She has started giving Eli hugs when we pick him up from school and will pet his hair or put her arm around him when he reads her a story (but won't let him cuddle on her). And she copies, exactly, everything he does. She watches him closely and then mimics. This is good and bad. She has learned how to drink from a straw, fill and pour with cups, and "read" a book earlier than Eli did. But she has also learned how to climb on tables, beg for treats, and be naughty faster too.

There are a few oddities that I'll categorize as being part of the German Philosophy on Children. I'm only in the introductory course so keep an eye out for followup articles.

Your children WILL be healthy. Several months back I got a long, unreadable (for me) letter from the Minister of Health, Justice, and Social Welfare of the State we live in (Saarland). It had to do with Mary and appeared medical in nature. I brought it to my doctor and they said they would take care of it. Just after Eli's 4th birthday I got a similar looking letter for him, forgot about it, got a second letter, and neglected to take it to my doctor on one of our many sick visits. Then on Thursday I got a third letter from this office with a handwritten form saying they would be at my house (gah!!) on Monday for a home visit from 10am - 12pm!!! Calling in a panic I found an English speaker who said if they don't hear from your doctor around your child's birthday that they have had an annual checkup, they will show up at your door to do the physical themselves. I called my doctor and think we have it all cleared up. Eli had a lengthy 4-year physical and developmental review (completely in German) which he passed just fine. Sheesh.
Children are welcome in stores. Or... at least their parents' Euros are welcome. My kids get an average of 2 gummy bear packets, 1 balloon, 1 piece of sausage, 1 slice of cheese and 1 sucker each every time we do an errand run. And the grocery store, furniture store, and Ikea have free, supervised playrooms (with ball pits, slides, toys) where you can leave your potty-trained child while you shop. Eli loves these places. Mary is frustrated that she can't go too.
Children are not welcome elsewhere. Restaurants (the kind with napkins and silverware), many video stores (strange but true) and even churches are included in this category. The local church offers a service for kids... once a month on Wednesday afternoons (when they take naps).... nothing is offered on Sunday mornings other than a regular service (no nursery, childrens worship). Our church is different, thankfully.
Kid-Centered Businesses are Rare. A few toy stores, the pools, and some playplaces can be found but there are too few Pediatricians, no pediatric dentists, no kids hair cut places, no kids' restaurants (equals nowhere to have a birthday party) and no mid-range clothing stores. And good luck finding a babysitter. Everyone lives near parents or other relatives so this is not a common pursuit of teenagers in order to make money. I'm making a little headway on this lately, however.
Supervision is optional. Kids as young as five are often running all over the neighborhood completely without parental supervision. My friends in other towns have seen very young kids out after dark, regularly, with no parent in sight. Yikes.

Oh dear. This is awfully long. I'm sure there will be more later so you can go to bed now.

Wildlife

2008-05-30T23:24:00.000+02:00

Lately my children have switched roles. Eli is the wild one - see picture of legs below. Each day Eli comes home from school (where he spends 3 of 4 hours outdoors) with brand new colorful and bleeding injuries on his arms, legs or face. He doesn't seem to notice or care very much so I guess he's a regular boy. Mary has been risk averse but she is starting to walk a little each day, however reluctantly. Wildlife in Germany consists mostly of animals small enough to step on, though there are deer crossing signs on the autobahn.

The wildlife of interest at my house includes huge, black, furry bee-like creatures that can be as big as the bouncy balls you get from those 25 cent supermarket machines. I have no idea if they sting but I don't like them and tend to swat erratically at them while panicking when they try to fly through my open front door.

But most commonly sighted are what I affectionately refer to as crunchy spiders. They come in 3 sizes: squishably-small, scary, and terrifying. And yes, they have a lot of exoskeleton which makes audible crunching sounds during the process of elimination. I have kleenexed many small ones, vacuumed up many scary ones (about an inch across), and faced down only one (prayer of thanks) terrifyingly massive arachnid. I took a picture - sorry, my hands were shaking - before getting out the dustbuster and i'm telling you, this thing was so strong, it would not go into that suction tube for several long seconds. It measured at least 2.5 inches across. Kevin was on a trip to the states when this happened last fall. I had flashbacks for days.
l

As my primary weapon, the Black-&-Decker handyvac the company gave us is one of my most prized posessions. It is also old. I have looked in store after store for a filter replacement with no luck. But my desperation knows no bounds so I hand-clean the filter and carefully dry it every few months so I will not lose this valuable tool. Maybe i'll bring a suspicious looking filter along to the states... Oh and don't be afraid to visit, now. I am skilled and will defend you.

And, finally, it appears we have some wilder teenagers somewhere on our hill. A few weeks back we woke up to an entire TP-ed neighborhood. All the garden walls and bushes and utility poles. It was a mess since it had also rained. A few days later someone shot fireworks directly over our house.... found the launchers in the front yard and the paper remains in the back. Ooooookaaay. And our friend Gabe - lives next door - has an 8-year old Audi that someone apparently wants for their own since they tried to break into two different windows on two nights in a row, unsuccessfully (though the windows are trashed). Such is life in the wild town of Einod.

Paris... Pourquois Pas? (Why not?)

2008-05-27T10:09:00.005+02:00

Eli will tell you he knows three languages now, since he can say ' please' (s'il vous plait) and 'thank you' (merci) in French. He was pretty proud of that fact. Pictures are to the right and a quick rundown is below.

Day 0 (Wed): Bit of an ominous start... Kevin bumped into a car in the parking lot (no scratches) and then we realized we had missed the train due to faulty mommy-brain when reading European times printed on tickets (you'd think i'd know by now) and arrived in Paris at bedtime instead of dinnertime and 50 penalty Euros poorer. Thankfully the kids did great on the train, which had a dining car, and we found the apartment no problem.
Day 1 (Thur): Woke up in a very cool neighborhood - too cool for us but we stayed anyway - found our way to the Eiffel Tower, then the Arc du Triomphe, and down the infamous Champs Elysee boulevard. All pretty darned neat. Eli loved the massive traffic circle around the Arc. We ate at McDonalds. Took a nap. Went to Notre Dame but were too late to climb it so walked around inside and ate dinner nearby. Then we took an hour long boat ride along the river to see the sights.
Day 2 (Fri): Montmartre (Paris' hill) and Sacre Coeur church in the morning. Strange adult men, some drunk and dressed in suits, offering to draw our kids on sketch pads at the 'artist' colony. Back to Notre Dame and climbed up, up, up to the Gargoyles and a view. Naps. Then we played at the park in the Luxembourg Garden, ate sushi (yum) and walked through the Tuileries Garden to the Louvre, which was open late for cheap with no lines. Saw 'Mona' and 'Venus' then hightailed it home. Felt cool to be in a room with the most famous painting in the world, I must admit.
Day 3 (Sat): Musee D'Orsay for an hour with Monet, Manet, VanGogh and other greats. Sat on a bridge exhausted for awhile. Ate at McDonalds (don't laugh, we have kids). Went shopping at Gallery Lafayette (Paris invented the gigantic department store idea) and Eli got.... a toy car (shocker). Naps. Explored our neighborhood and then Les Halles - a magnificently large underground mall complex where most of Paris lives or hangs out (no tourists except for us) - and had ice cream (Ben & Jerry's!) before bed.
Day 4 (Sun): Saint Chapelle royal chapel with it's incredible 800 year old stained glass was our first stop. And there was a Sunday-only bird market nearby. Large guys bartering around a bird cage and huge sacks of birdseed. Not something one sees every day. Then we slipped into the Rodin Museum gardens to see his famous bronze works before we headed back to the apartment to pack, struggle our luggage to the train station, and go home. Kids were tired and Mary was impossible but we made it (whew!) home.... 4 weeks to the day until we fly for hours and hours and hours with a toddler on a small airplane to Phoenix. Can't wait!

Other Paris Notes: The Metro is a blessing and a curse. You can go anywhere BUT you're lugging your stroller and kids up and down thousands of stairs (and calling the stroller several kinds of names when it gets stuck in the entry/exit gates). The kids love it, the parents not so much. Naps are a must - at least for the adults. The stroller becomes an advantage at famous attractions because you're considered like the handicapped and get to take an elevator - when everyone else has to take the stairs. At the Rodin Museum we got to go past the entire looooong line of people directly to the front and right into the gardens because of the stroller. Mary would charm the guards and Eli would be cute so really, kids can be a plus. The negative is you don't get to stay very long at any one place. Eli walked and climbed and walked and climbed... he was terrific. Mary did really pretty well for a toddler. We had a great time. Come on over and we'll go with you, too.

Moseying the Mosel

2008-05-17T23:08:00.001+02:00

We have a Pattern here that goes something like this: Sick Child - Medical Intervention (3 Doctor Visits + 2 Pharmacy Visits) - Vacation Travel - Newly Sick Child (usually the other one). Lots of fun. You should try it sometime. Thus far God has graciously allowed us sickness-free travel vacations, but icky illness is our punishment upon returning home. Eli got his 'all clear' from Mono yesterday. Mary woke up with a nasty-cling-to-mommy-and-whine-cold at 5:45am today. Kevin is gone. It was raining on a Saturday when we had our first social get-together in many weeks planned for the outdoors. I nearly cried. But our friends from church called, said I could come over anyway with my sick kid, and the day was saved. She fed us Mac-n-Cheese with hot dogs and good company. Never say that God is without mercy.

(Note: Links included in this blog entry.)

Last weekend we spent 3 nights on the Mosel River (see pics) watching the river traffic, gaping at the 1000's of motorcyclists and bicyclists, cruising the river and the road, seeing a castle, and generally traipsing around vineyard towns. The Burg Eltz castle, going through a river lock, and riding a chair lift were highlights. We fed swans, went to the pool, and had a wine-cellar tour as well. Cheap and yummy, wine is not remotely snooty in Germany, it's what everyone drinks with their dinner. A few observations we made:

You're never too old to ride a bike. I mean this literally... 90 years old? So what? Get on your bike-with-a-basket and go to the bakery. Many, many older couples do this in smaller-town Europe.
Motorcycle Payments = Mortgage Payments. The bikes cruising the Mosel valley were more expensive than all of your cars put together and the riders were outfitted in complete head-to-toe coordinated leather suits with helmets, gloves, and boots to match. Not one singe rider was wearing jeans.
Summer homes can be portable. In the States motor homes are for travelling. Here they are cheap summer homes that are planted in one beautiful spot on the riverfront from May until October and used as someones weekend home for six months of the year. They do not move from that campground. They have huge tented porches with fancy furniture and neighborhood flea-markets. They have to leave in late fall when the river floods and retakes the campground for the winter.
Town monuments should have basic rights. Our weekend stay in Zell meant we had to find the 'Schwarze Katze' (Black Cat) statue that lends its name and image to all the local wines, tourist shops, and restaurant dinner specials. After fruitless searching despite many kind strangers directing us to the center of town we finally looked under a tent that had been set up for some fest and had an Oompa Band (lederhosen, green wool knickers, corny music) playing. Behold, the black cat statue had been turned into... a bar. Built completely around the statue and serving wine and beer, it was the worst abuse we've seen of a town monument, ever.

Surprise!! Kevin went to Iowa the day after we got home and will hopefully return in time for our Paris trip the day after he returns. But he also flew to Montana for a quick weekend visit to surprise Mom & Dad. I hope that it's a good one, despite the fact that he didn't bring his kids. Mom is on 'round 2' with the chemo and for some reason isn't finding it to be loads of fun. While we feel very, very far away most of the time and would like to be there especially now, a quick visit by Kevin will have to do until we arrive 'en masse' on the first of July. And Dad made a CaringBridge page for Mom that looks great, keeps us informed, and helps shrink the miles between us.

The Eli Special Feature

2008-04-26T23:02:00.004+02:00

Well, our 4-year-old (gasp! can this be true?) has had an adventurous life during his short time on earth. Tonight, we honor him in our special feature. The One, the Only (literally the one and only here in Germany)... ELI

So, Eli, tell us about yourself: Hmmm... I like to ask "why" even when I already know the answer. My favorite activities at school are playing in the sandbox, riding the Bobby Cars downhill - see my video below - and tumbling in the gym. Tattle-tailing on my sister is a new found delight. And I think that all the adults in my life - including my bachelor neighbor and my friends' moms and dads - are really my friends first and would rather talk to me than anyone else in the world. I love pears, dark chocolate, and peanut-butter & honey sandwiches. "Anyways" is one of my most used words and, anyways, I really don't like to play alone, ride my bike, try new foods, or get my picture taken - even though mom says I used to be a pro in front of the camera. Otherwise I'm just a typical, very sensitive boy who memorizes car makes and models, gives driving directions (including speed limit advice) to my parents, and speaks German as well as English.

What are the things you wish for? And what will you do when you grow up? If I could, I would wear a striped, collared polo-shirt paired with grey sweats, black socks, and my bright green Crocs every day. I also wish that I could get a cat (though we do have a neighborhood cat that likes our yard) and that it would always be winter and there would always be snow. Someday, when I grow up, I'm going to be a truck driver so I can drive all day long. Anyways, I might also want to be a train driver or a baseball player.

How are you keeping busy lately? Well, I started playing soccer, so that's big news. I've only been at it for a few weeks but I really love going for that one hour every Tuesday afternoon. Mostly I chase the bigger kids around (our group is 4-6 year-olds) and try to kick the ball into the closest goal, whether or not it belongs to my team. I also kick the ball when it's being set up for another kid's penalty shot or when the coach has it stopped with his foot. Sometimes I get tired and sit in the middle of the field during the game. So - it's really going well!

How have you been feeling? That's another thing... I really don't like the "little tiny bugs that get into the back of my throat" and I don't like going to the doctor except there is one nice doctor and she gives me gummy bears. I've been sick with one thing or another since we moved to Germany. First, I had a stomach bug and threw up for the first time ever. Then I got Strep two times in a row. And now the doctors think I have Mono. Mom almost cried because it means I am super tired, crabby, and my tonsils and lymph nodes are so swollen that I talk funny. And this could go on for several weeks! The good thing is that I never seem to get a fever when I'm sick and usually keep eating and drinking.

Back to your Birthday... how was it? Great! I was healthy on the day of my party and the weather was wonderful for the first time in weeks. My best friends all came and fought over who got to sit by me or hold my hand on the way to the park. And I got cars, games, and backyard soccer goals from my guests. On my actual birthday my place at the breakfast table was full of presents! I got lots of train stuff, Legos, books, a video, and a puzzle. I brought chocolate-chip cookies to school (which they don't have in Germany and everyone loved) and that night my neighbor Gabe brought me a big present with cars, a car-carrier, and candy. It was "awesome."

Any future plans? I've been wanting to try riding a horse - but only if it will go slowly - at the stables in our neighborhood. And we've got some vacations coming up. Vacations for me are all about what mode of transportation I will see or experience. What I remember about London, for example, is that we took a train to get there, rode on subways and double-decker red buses, and even got to go in the giant ferris wheel called the 'London Eye' (I think we did some other stuff but I don't remember what it was since I was always looking at the traffic on the road). Mom says that in May we're going on one trip where we'll drive our car for awhile and maybe even ride on a boat. Then after that we'll take a train to Paris! We'll ride the subway while we are there and another boat and maybe even a Taxi! So, needless to say, I am very excited. After that it's two airplanes to the United States to see all my cousins and Grandpas and Grandmas. It is going to be busy. But I would be just as happy to sit in a chair on the main road in our town and watch the traffic go by all day long.

Any last words? Yes, to all my younger fans. Never say "I can't" because you will be able to do something if you just keep trying (like puzzles, zippers and buttons for me). Also, I love you and miss you all and can't wait to see you soon. Tchuss! (That means 'See ya! Bye!')

Eli

Tragedy & Triumph

2008-04-15T23:04:00.001+02:00

Tragedy: My husband, whom I love dearly, breached our unwritten marriage contract last week when he dared to purchase and bring home a scale. Many times in the past he has said we should get one and I said "not in my house." I came home from a 'girls night out' to find the atrocity in the middle of my floor. Wrong, wrong, wrong. The abominable contraption gives a person's weight (something I kept hidden from Kevin for many years) in pounds, kilograms and, of course, stones. He looked a bit sheepish but tried to pass it off as a gift so I could see just how much weight I'd lost since moving to Germany. Uh huh. Now it is in the corner behind the shower where it should be forgotten. But really that's the best location to get a good number just before I get in the shower in the morning, after going to the bathroom, before eating breakfast, and without clothes.

Triumph: In our area there are three 'Deere Families.' A fourth family returned to the States recently and gave us some good stuff they no longer needed and couldn't use in America. But they did not have the ultimate appliance, the one find all 'Deere Wives' (as we are known) yearn for and may spend their entire stays seeking. The venerable Crock Pot. The esteemed Slow Cooker does not exist here, in general, and American versions cannot be converted due to the high voltage needed and electrical incompatibility. However, there have been persistent rumors that European versions do exist... ("A lady in my church has a cousin who's neighbor once saw one!" and similar stories). Now, 145 kilometers away there are 20+ Deere families and they come and go frequently. One Deere Wife sent out an email with a 'for sale list' recently since she is headed back to the States with her husband soon. I usually don't even bother to read them as I have no need for more stuff but for some reason I did read it. And buried low in the long list of furniture, European appliances, and junk was a crock pot. It had been 2 hours since the email came but I hit that 'Reply' button and my fingers flew over the keyboard as my heart raced with hopeful excitement. And I GOT IT! She said 3 additional people asked about it after me (heh, heh). She wanted about $30 for it, is all, and somehow didn't realize that she could have gotten $hundreds$ if she'd simply held a mini-auction. It's mine! It's mine! I did have to drive 145 kilometers in terrible traffic and rain, tormenting my daughter and myself to meet her at the monthly 'Deere Wives' breakfast in order to pick it up, but that's a small price to pay for such a jewel. I acquired it this morning. We had BBQ wieners tonight.

Pin-Ball-Autos; Mary Cooks / Eli Kicks

2008-04-06T22:40:00.014+02:00

European roads are very narrow. Think 'Chicago alleyway' narrow for every neighborhood street. This necessitates more road rules and smaller cars. The road rules we've figured out, the smaller car...? Well, more on that later.

If a car is parked on the side of the street (which means half on the sidewalk, half on the road), and this is always, then there is no longer room for two cars to pass each other in opposite directions. Speed deterrents like large, cemented flower pots cause the same situation. And horses. We have horse traffic here. SO, in all these situations one car must give way. Who goes? First Rule: The car coming up the hill, if applicable (hills are quite steep, all cars are manual transmission, better not to stop going up). Second Rule: The car on the clear side of the street - meaning cars are parked on the other side - so that driver must pull in and wait. Third Rule: Survival of the fittest, biggest, fastest. It's all pretty organized, actually, and flashing your lights means 'you go first' to the opposing driver.

While the Polizei are rarely seen on the autobahn the speed cameras are everywhere, as is the traffic and construction, which is even more out of control here than in the Midwest, I think. Anyway, we arrived with flawless driving records. This didn't stop the auto insurance company from scalping us for our two boring cars - we're not exactly driving bright orange, Mach-1 speeding Lamborghinis, here. But, they may have had good reason. Since arriving in Germany - that's 6 months ago, already - we've experienced the following:

4 speeding tickets: all for Kevin, in rentals; two on one trip to France - talented!
2 parking tickets: one in Austria, one downtown; meter-cops abound.
4 "oops, sorry" incidents: most of these are mine due to my not small car and the too small streets and driveways previously mentioned. I knocked in another car's mirror when performing the "you go. no, you go" maneuver described above. No damage since many mirrors are designed to fold in/out. I scraped up the hubcap of our rental in a tiny entrance to a parking garage, but they never called us on it. I backed into the drivers door of an SUV leaving some one's house in the rain at night. No damage since it had that bounce-back shell material. And Kevin scraped up the front corner of our car after getting too close to the light pole at church.
1 "total" accident: Kevin was rear-ended in a rental last week in heavy traffic on the autobahn, domino effect hit the car in front of him, nothing more than a sore neck.... but the rental was considered totaled.

The lesson is that driving in Germany is dangerous. But road trips are fun. Just be nervous, paranoid, and suspicious - you'll be fine. Kids can't get there license here til they are 18 and that's after about $3000 worth of required driver's ed. The written and driving exams are brutal, we've heard. Iowa has a deal with Germany - we get International DL's for 35 euro's and a passport sized photo - no exams required. Phew. On second thought, maybe it would've been better if we'd had to work for our driving privileges....

Mary cooks! Yes, we're terribly proud. Mary has mastered the oven and stove top controls and now opens the door to the oven, usually when I'm baking something. Safety devices are on order since Friday when, thanks to my helpful daughter, my first batch of chocolate chip cookies were burned to a crisp at 500 degrees before I realized what she had done. Sigh.

Eli's soccer career: While he still wants to be "a truck driver and a baseball player" when he grows up, Eli is also interested in soccer. Hence he begins playing this week in the 4-year old group at the field near our house. We bought some shiny, fast "fussball cleats" this weekend and he's excited. Pictures and stories to follow at a later date. Mostly I just want him to get outside... with a ball... and no Hot Wheels cars in sight. (Pic below is Eli with best buds Charlie, his sister Olivia, and Marc).

Name Games

2008-03-31T22:12:00.003+02:00

Guess the Gender Name Game:
* Florian
* Heike
* Uwe
* Ute
* Micha

Answers are below. Of course, many names popular Stateside are here as well... but they sure don't sound the same. I asked what a little boy at Eli's school was named and the teacher said "Coll" or maybe "Cawl." What? I asked how it was spelled. C - A - R - L. Aha. The "R" thing... It is not rolled like it is in Spanish. In fact German gives the common"R" two sounds. One pronunciation is guttural - back where your tonsils hang. The other pronunciation, like in the name Carl or the word Butter (yes, butter), is where it is nearly silent. I say nearly because there is a sound there but just thinking about the letter when speaking, rather than attempting to say it, is usually all the pronunciation it needs. Eli, of course, does this perfectly. The most popular names we've run into are Heidi or Katrin/Katerine for women and Torsten or Thomas or Jurgen for men. Other fun ones are Manfred and Wolfgang.

Family Names: Mary is normal, though not common, for Germany, but usually in the form Maria. Eli is completely strange and I pronounce it slowly so people will understand. In the German Bible and translated it would be Elias ('ee-lee-us'). Kevin is normal but not common. But Sandra (pro: 'sondra')? No one my age has my name in the states. Here they are everywhere. Sandra's abound on restaurant name tags and at neighborhood get-togethers. One of the main news anchors is a Sandra. I saw two more on name tags this past week. It's funny, but it actually helps... it's the one thing that's not strange about me when I'm meeting the locals.

Florian = male, pronounced easily like it is spelled
Heike = female, pronounced like the word 'hike' plus 'uh', hike-uh
Uwe = male, pronounced 'oo-vay'
Ute = female, can be spelled Jutta, both pronounced 'yoo-tuh'
Micha = male, pronounced 'mee-shah'

How'd you do? There are some that are even more strange, but I can't even spell them much less pronounce them.

Castles and Ketchup

2008-03-25T23:02:00.001+01:00

We went castle-hopping over Easter in Luxembourg. It was great. Except winter finally arrived in Western Europe... on the day of the Spring Equinox. Easter Sunday dawned clear and cold so we bundled the kids and went "hiking" in the Mullerthal Forest. Hiking here is defined as: "drive to next designated parking area near scenic land feature, carry stroller up/down uneven stone steps, take pictures, carry stroller back to car while kicking self for forgetting backpack, repeat." The best castle we've seen to date was in Beaufort, a place not even mentioned in travel guides. It had a torture chamber, tall towers, and was not ridiculously over-"restored" - the sad fate of many a castle. Plus we ate at a French Patisserie (translation: yummy bakery) in Beaufort that had the most delicious fancy finger pastries we've ever gulped down in an unappreciative hurry with pop and apple juice. Ah well. Someday, we've promised ourselves, we will enjoy the culinary aspect of travelling. Until then it's train station McDonald's, curbside brats, or cheese squares and meat sticks from the grocery store taken back to our room. Travelling with the kids does have its advantages. Sleeping all together in a closet-sized room with no Internet access means bedtime is 7:45, for everyone.

My next blog will examine the differences between German and American obsessions. But today, following a great weekend that nonetheless highlighted some of Europe's shortfalls, I must comment on the tight-fisted restaurant culture. Contrary to American belief that portion sizes are smaller here, plates have plenty of food. But in other areas (mostly noticed only by parents travelling with young children), the European restaurant is sadly lacking.

Ketchup, for example. Remember the impossible-to-open-until-it-suddenly-squirts-all-over-your-blouse packets that contained enough ketchup for five - maybe six - fries total? They use those here. And they'll cost you 20 - 50 Euro cents per, my friend. Napkins are rationed here based on the one-per-diner rule that obviously doesn't account for the eating habits of 1 year olds. They don't charge you for them but they will glare at you in disgust, no doubt thinking "slovenly barbarians..." Our diaper bag ensures we always have wipes to fill the inevitable cleanliness gap, but still. And Refills. This is a basic human right in the States and restaurants not offering them for free are stingy, un-family-friendly snobs. Sadly, this is not so here. Some will tell you that the lack of ice in drinks means you get your money's worth. Whatever, cheapos.

Finally, we cannot neglect to mention gas stations and bathroom access in our rant against the purveyors of stinginess, though their connection to the culinary culture is tenuous (or truck driver related), at best. Despite a fascination with all things auto, Germany and surrounding countries will make you work to find your fuel. Gas stations are often not on main streets or autobahn exits, not open early / late / on weekends, and not very close together. I guess the lack of competition must be nice, it costs us almost $8 per gallon of diesel; gas would be even more painful. And you'd better have change with you just in case you do find a gas station or rest stop. That'll be 50 cents to use the facilities, thank you. The term "public restroom" refers to trees and bushes. Those wanting modern plumbing, even at many tourist attractions and shopping areas, will be coughing up the museum admission fee, buying an appetizer, or desperately pleading to get to their goal.

Party!

2008-03-15T22:35:00.015+01:00

Fasching = Carnival = Dress up, dance, eat and parade. Valentine's Day warrants exactly one tiny end of the aisle in the grocery store in February. The rest of the store is devoted to Fasching. The adults are almost as into it as the kids and their outfits are definitely wild. We did not partake but the kids joined in... and took over all the events they were invited to. I don't know where they get it from but my kids love to party.

"Once upon a time there was a beautiful ladybug and a fierce pirate. And they revered the same colors - black and red."
Here's my attempt at a pirate ship. The treasure chest was on the other cheek but not as recognizable, I fear.

She really was awfully darned cute.

My tough soldier with his real sounding gun... the first i've allowed around here. It was, of course, very popular at school and the teachers finally took it away. Eli's costume was the coolest that day, for sure.

At the village Fasching celebration Mary discovered 'fairy dust' confetti on the floor. What a find.

Battling Back

2008-03-15T21:46:00.011+01:00

Yesterday I...

Re-stocked the bookshelf
Re-packed the playdoh supplies
Re-filled the paper recycling basket (twice)
Re-rolled the toilet paper roll (twice)
Put countless items back into my makeup bag AND my husband's shaving kit
Re-assembled a baby book
Put the candles back in the drawer of the entertainment center
Threw away an entire box of emptied, torn-up tissues
Re-constructed Eli's train track
Put away 4 baskets of numerous small toys (not to play with, just to see them dumped)
And, finally, kissed two sets of drawer-squished fingers

The cause of so much 'work?' My beautiful, charming, determined, destructive, and apparently deaf daughter. The work "No" prompts smiles, not obedience. Why even try to follow and repair? I really, really wanted to vacuum just one level of our townhouse. And I succeeded, though mysteriously exhausted. My husband must wonder how 10 minutes worth of vacuuming can cause a backache and be so tiring... hard to explain the 5.8 hours of preparation and hurricane-Mary-recovery operations.

Besuchers!! Besuchers!! It sounds like 'berserkers' but really it means 'Visitors' - i'm sure no irony is intended. We took our first visitors, Mom & Dad Flikkema and Janelle & David Lee, on a week of touring Switzerland, France, and our little corner of Germany. By touring I mean driving, walking, driving, walking, and then driving. It was wonderfully draining. We saw the Alps, did some sledding, were awed by the Black Forest, silenced in a church called 'God's Lantern', devastated at Verdun, and romanced in the castle and town of Heidelberg. We loved having them and welcome all to come and see - for the first time or again and again.

March 2008 Vacation

Since they left we have been busy.... sleeping. Have you ever thought that "travel recuperation" could be a multi-million dollar wellness business? Specialist providers could partner with chiropractors (also a popular post-trip service) and give out sleep-drug prescriptions, unpacking advice, brag-book production, and sell things like sweats and old t-shirts as well as catered meals for that 'first week back.' It could all be booked ahead of time during pre-trip planning. I may be on to something here...

Sick stinks, 'specially single.

2008-02-24T23:30:00.006+01:00

He didn't want to go, but Kevin had to fly to Kansas City for the week. As punishment he has being-gone-guilt and the knowledge that it is 65 degrees here. Not so in Kansas City. This being our sickest winter (though mildest in weather) ever, I decided to get Strep Throat at the same time Kevin was leaving. My first experience with the infection. After almost 3 days of excruciating, nerve-shrieking agony in my throat - reverberating through my brain and eardrums - I will forever be the most compassionate person on the planet to all persons afflicted. What I never knew was that you also get a jackhammer headache, high fever with chills and sweats, and skin so sensitive that changing clothes makes you cry. God taught me a quick and clear lesson however, that He is good and He takes care of me.

It was Saturday, Kevin was on an airplane and I was debating whether or not to take the kids with me to the hospital (having no doctor for myself yet) so I could get a diagnosis and some very strong drugs. I called three friends - all answered the phone - God knows people - and worked a minor miracle. Sarah is a nurse, listened to my list of symptoms, told me it sounded bad enough to search for drugs and offered to come get the kids. Liz called her friends and found a doctor that does house calls and speaks English! Thank YOU God. He came 10 minutes after I called his number and gave me the prescription I needed. And he was really nice. Lastly, my friend Heidi (who with her husband runs the pharmacy at the University Hospital, wouldn't you know) called and demanded that Eli be given to her for most of Sunday. And her husband answered my questions about the prescription and they gave other good healing advice. At noon Saturday I was so miserable I was close to tears and more than a little desperate. By 3pm prayers had been quickly answered and I was on the road to healing with prescription in hand. It's not a story about sickness, but about God and His provision in a personal, difficult time. I won't soon forget.

Sunday Walks: Eli had a tradional German Sunday walk with my friend's family today while I stayed home to heal and let Mary nap. Sunday walks in Germany (called Volksmarches when done officially) follow these rules. Walking on Sunday...

Is required. For every German family. Unless there is a horrific storm or sub-zero temperatures. And there is nothing else to do anyway since you can't work outside your house or go shopping.
Is a fairly serious hike through a forest, with hills. This is hilly, wooded country and there are kilometers upon kilometers of paths built expressly for this purpose. All residents of this country live within walking distance of public paths and a forest.
Will include lunch and a beer. In the middle of forests and along the paths are shacks and restaurants ready to serve the steady stream of reliable, hungry customers.
Is a 3-5 hour event (including lunch). Eli was gone for 5 hours today and nearly fell apart at the seams when he got home, he was so exhausted... but happy.
May be missed if biking, roller blading, or horseback riding instead.

We've begun to observe this tradion ourselves in our own nearby woods and hills and the paths are busy with horses, bikes, people and strollers. A worthy competing activity to the "football game on TV and a nap" routine we favored in the States...

Love & Kisses...

2008-02-19T22:44:00.001+01:00

Happy Birthday Baby: Our baby turned 1 year old last week. Just in time for the big event Mary learned how to 'kiss-kiss' on command. She sticks out her lower lip and offers her mouth to you for some love. And she gets plenty. Rather than avoid the cliches, I embraced her near-Valentines birthdate wholeheartedly (snicker, snort) and scattered pink, red, and white balloons - including hearts, of course - for our little party. Our friends John and Sarah came by with their kids. Low key, messy, and fun. Pictures to the right. We reflected later that night what a gift our surprise girl has been and are so grateful to God for the precious daughter entrusted to us. And we like her big brother, too.

As my sisters forwarned, bedtime has become a time when Eli has big questions and comes up with the best pronouncements, things I wish I could remember forever. Tonight he talked about God's house in Heaven and how He also lives in our hearts (even Mary's!) but how did he make us? I reminded him of the story of Adam and Eve and also babies inside of mommies and he says: "I know what God did! He took some sand and mixed it up. Then He made it really hot and then He put the bones into it! But how did it get into the mommy?" The conversation continued and he was thinking hard about the complexities of babies growing arms, legs, and even teeth inside of their gums... all before they are born. Unexpected, wonderful conversations - one of the gifts of having a little boy. A favorite phrase you may hear from this child if you visit and ask him to do something with you: "I'm not available right now but you can do it by yourself." Ah, independence.

Don't be shocked. Not just for punks and rebellious teens, brightly colored hair is one of the first things you will notice about the German people. Upon my arrival I began an immediate and frantic search for a good salon. Having colored my hair in 6-week intervals for the last 12 years a safe medium brown, I was extremely anxious about the abnormally high number of otherwise normal looking women - of all ages - with fluorescent orange, red, and purple hair. We're talking about regular folks in the neighborhood - moms and grandmas alike. German acquaintances surmised - quietly - that these were 'East German' women or 'Russian Germans' - a few of the many stereotyped groups in this area. Regardless, you're going to see them, and are forwarned. But my hair shall remain brown.

Autobahn Oddities. Unless you're driving the Autobahn at night you won't notice another strange phenomenon in Germany, the total lack of light pollution. Completely dark driving. For the most part the Autobahn has zero lights (not on signs, or difficult corkscrew entrances/exits, or bridges), zero reflective barriers or markers, and even dull hard-to-see paint lines. A consistently large buffer zone made mostly of tall woods between the Autobahn and any buildings helps and everyone turns their lights off at 8:00pm regardless (that's 20:00 here, by the way). It's almost spooky. But don't be spooked by the seemingly 'homeless' cars hanging out under underpasses - thats carpool parking. One last warning. If you spend much time at all driving around our host country, you will at some point see a man peeing on the side of the road... and not behind a tree, a bush, or even a car door. Gute Fahrt!! ("Enjoy the Drive!")

Coffee? Baggies, Bottles & the Environment.

2008-02-10T21:21:00.000+01:00

My friend/neighbor came by the other day for an afternoon visit, along with her kids. I warned her I had no coffee or tea or cake. She finds Americans fascinating, thankfully, and the gaffe was excused. While coffee is also popular in the states, of course, it is absolutely required here as a basic human need... every morning and afternoon. With cake. Often from a fancy espresso machine everyone has in their kitchen. Walk downtown on any afternoon and you will find little bakeries full of people having their cake and coffee. She asked in a rather shocked voice 'What do you drink in the morning?' Me: Orange juice. 'But don't you want something that's hot?' Now she sounds quite incredulous. Me: Occasionally hot chocolate. And I drink too much coke/pop in the afternoon. She tells me I am definitely not very German. I have yet to meet a German citizen who does not drink coffee or can tolerantly comprehend that I do not.

Ziploc baggies are friends to this household. Gallon-size, Quart-size, Sandwich-size... I love them all. Our relationship is longterm, co-dependant, and successful. Same goes for convenient water bottles. Unfortunately this is considered an illicit affair in the eyes of our new neighbors. It is only very recently that baggie imitations are available at the store and there aren't very many (no one is buying them). To be fair they have reason to show their condemnation. Neither are good for the environment - a high concern in Germany and climbing daily on my own priority list after watching the 'Planet Earth' and 'Inconvenient Truth' movies and living in an environmentally aware culture. The locals can remember winters 10-15 years ago when snow fell in this area for four to six weeks each winter. There has been exactly none the last several winters. Climate change, they believe. I attempt to negate the effects of my consumption by recycling all plastic diligently and purchasing our drinks in recycled plastic and glass at the 'drink market.' I am in training.

Language Love: I fear my greatest improvement in the area of language is flexibility. As in the muscles being used to desperately convey a concept via body language. All should fear to challenge me in 'Charades' when we are back in the states. I can expertly demonstrate adverbs and will kick your butt. Another funny thing in language is the concept of False Friends. A word looks the same in two languages so you think (hope) it means the same thing. One less to remember among 50,000! But no. It is not to be. An example. Take the highly recognizable word POISON. In English this is something very bad and pictorally represented by a red skull. In French, with an extra 's', this is the word for a Fish (swimms, yummy w/butter). And in German, with the same spelling as in English, this is the word for Gift (as in "This is for you!"). Beware, all who tread here.

Fluoride Debate; Is he 4 yet?; Aahh 80's

2008-01-25T23:30:00.000+01:00

Germans love to argue. It's been said that meetings can go on for hours without a single decision being made. That's even if they agree, they just like to argue. One of the debates appears to be about the highly controversal and globally important issue of... Fluoride.

Before moving we knew that water was not fluoridated here and I found online some strong government statements about not forcing 'mass medication' on innocent people. And the study proving that if you feed mice nothing but fluoride in grotesque quantities 24 hours a day they might eventually get cancer - shocking. So what to do? Opinion #1 from our new Pediatrician was to immediately prescribe pills to give the kids daily, which we have faithfully done in paranoid don't-want-black-cavity-infested-teeth fashion. Opinions #2 & #3 came from our new Dentist visited for the first time this week. He said the kids are getting too much IF we are using the fluoridated salt you can buy in addition to the pills. Otherwise kids' toothpaste has enough fluoride. Table salt, it turns out, can be purchased in 3 color-coded packages, one with fluoride - should you choose such a treatment (could be considered Opinion #4) for your family, one without, and one with some other debatable mineral. We can keep using the pills on the kids if we don't buy the yellow packaged salt. ALSO, Kevin and I are supposed to start using a weekly gel treatment to supplement our toothpaste. Opionion #5 came to the other work family we know whose dentist will not prescribe any treatment unless they can prove, by ordering an expensive study, that their water in that particular town, has no fluoride. SO, with the path of fluoride treatment so clearly laid out before us we will probably have black teeth or end up with fluoride cancer.

I love my son. But I liked him very little this week. Open rebellion, screaming fits (new and surprising), and blatant disrespect were constant this past week. We are discussing a new discipline plan as my drill-sargent approach is mysteriously ineffective, praying for God's mercy, and calling my sister for support. She assures me he will turn four and things will change - just as hard, but at least different.

Do you miss the 80's? Of course specialty stations can be found in the states but if you move here you will get nothing but 80's and 90's American rock music on every radio station, in every store, in offices and waiting rooms, and in every restaurant you enter. As many of the shoppers and diners don't know English, the hilarity for Americans is even greater knowing that the music is often completely inappropriate for the atmosphere. For example: Last weekend we were at a hotel specifically targeted to families with young children. The song playing at breakfast in the restaurant/cafe one morning was Def Leppard's 'Pour Some Sugar on Me.' And concentrating on grocery shopping can be difficult when Madonna's 'Like a Virgin' is being blasted through the speakers in the lunchmeat aisle.

The 'Four Month' Mark & Holidays

2008-01-23T23:30:00.000+01:00

We're almost there. That magic date when you start to feel like you actually know what is going on (almost) and have something more on your social calendar than 'Dentist Appointment.' We still have some hurdles we've not crossed: finding a babysitter, clothes shopping, eating at a real restaurant. But these things, too, will come. Best of all - somebody likes us! We've had some get-togethers the past few weeks that have gone really well and even a weekend away with our friends the Leinarts. Had a blast in the Black Forest at a kid-oriented fun hotel at the bottom of a sled/ski hill. Much playing in the snow, swimming, indoor playground romping and even mini-golf, all with five kids and two sets of parents. Everyone likes each other and you can see the pics to the right. Mary did not like the wind or sled for awhile but loosened up eventually. Eli did fantastic and was more courageous than last year. Looking forward to getting him in the snow in Switzerland in March.

Growth is Good: I thought we had until our kids were teenagers before they would 'eat us out of the house' and i'm sure they will. But let me tell you, a growing 3 year old and hefty nearly 1-year old can put away a LOT of food. They eat constantly and in large quantities. Mary gets weighed next week. Their bodies are growing of course, as evidenced by the rapidly growing "too small" clothes pile, but also their brains. Eli is doing more reading and some math and Mary is trying to keep up with him. She drives cars and trains (correctly) and is starting to 'read' books. She even programmed the phone for me. I tried for 45 minutes over two days to erase the call log on our inexplicably complicated German-bought phone and failed. Mary played with it for two minutes and cleared the log. Wish she could tell me what she did.

Sweet? I think not: And lest you are mislead by the too-cute pictures to believe, as my sister did, that Mary is 'sweet,' let me be the first to correct you. She is very, very charming and cute and uses her smile to manipulate all susceptible persons but she is NOT sweet. Sweet is tentative, giving, and innocent. At 11 months old Mary is none of these things. Her personality is go-getter, take or yell, and she knows exactly what she is doing. Highly entertaining right now but indicative of the need for a disciplinary plan in the very near future. We love her too much. Her newest tricks are open-mouth kisses and dancing (more like swaying) to anything that resembles music.

Epiphany & The Three Kings: January 6th is Epiphany in Germany, when children dress as the 3 Kings and go door to door singing, asking for donations perhaps, and mostly bring 'luck.' Every house in Germany has this chalked message on their front door: The initials of the 3 Kings in the middle, year of last visit split - on the ends. Our visit this year came while I was out shopping, unfortunately but Eli and Daddy were home. We had wondered what the door label was for many months ago and speculated it meant passing an inspection, perhaps a government requirement, or had something to do with the mail delivery. But no. It is practically required but only means that you'll have 'good luck' in that house. Read a bit more of the history here: http://www.chiff.com/home_life/holiday/christmas/epiphany-three-kings.htm

Fasching - last week of January: Think about New Orleans and 'Mardi-Gras' or Rio and "Carneval" only German. Halloween is not big here so for partying like an animal while remaining aonymously costumed, they have Fasching. Our German teacher in Cincinnati had warned us that in some places, like Munich or Cologne, it gets very wild in the streets for an entire week. Nothing like that (thankfully) in our little neighborhood. Eli gets to where a costume to school for a few days and PJ's on the Tuesday after RoseMonday (see link below). Kevin will miss it all as he's going to Iowa for 10 days but tonight we shopped together for costumes and Eli has chosen to be a fireman so pictures will follow. See link for more Fasching history: http://www.mckinnonsc.vic.edu.au/la/lote/german/links/topics/karneval.htm

Wait! Weight! & The Idiosyncrasies of Language.

2008-01-11T22:52:00.000+01:00

Despite what the experts say there are more interesting ways to lose weight besides watching what you eat and exercising. While this simple three-step plan may not be advisable (or remotely attractive) to everyone it has proven to be effective for us, though entirely unintentional and certainly temporary. Another plus, it doesn't work on kids. Of course, I plan to publish a bestselling self-help book soon so keep in mind that this advice is proprietary. Disclaimer: Attempt only after consulting with a psychiatrist, recruiter, and at least one sane family member.

Step 1. Decide to move to foreign country and complete move. Should include highly stressful tasks like selling house/cars/belongings, completing eye crossing amounts of legal and company paperwork, travelling for house hunting, employer orientation, and language classes, living in hotels, AND taking care of two small, sometimes sick children and/or arranging child care throughout all.

Step 2. Eat very small portions of strange food or bypass completely. This is extremely easy to do. Looking at it will cause you to lose your appetite (blood sausage or pig brains anyone?) and trying it (old smelly cheeses, super-strong sauerkraut, odd cuts of swine) will destroy whatever hunger may have remained. We have made several mistakes at the grocery store and bring home items which go immediately into the trash. We are learning.

Step 3. Get sick. With a child in early education this is virtually guaranteed anywhere in the world and is only more effective within this diet plan. Especially if you move just before winter.

Personal Note: While this plan may seem obvious to some, it only dawned on us recently that our pants seem looser and our belts don't have enough holes. We have zero desire to shop for clothes here - very expensive, different styles - so are attempting to regain our own closets soon with a steady intake of Coca Cola and good German chocolate.

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Another weight issue is in the kitchen. All German recipes - including the instructions on the back of those pasta packets or 'meal in a box' options - call for measurements in grams or kilos. My cute little cups and Pyrex' are fascinating to German visitors but entirely without function. In our desperation for decent meals we have purchased a German cookbook and now I guess I need to go buy a kitchen scale - a local household standard.

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Mastering another language.... ha! Ha, HA!! (cough, snort). Let me start over. Attempting to stumble through the basics of a new language points out the idiosyncrasies of our own and where the differences lie, other than the basic word-to-word translation. For instance I kept trying to figure out how to express 'to do' in German, thinking that phrases like 'do the laundry' or 'do homework' or even 'what are you doing?' must have direct translations. Of course this would be too easy. The German language uses the equivalent of 'to make' the same way and with the same frequency as we use 'to do.' So the direct translation is more like 'What are you making?' 'Please make this homework for next week' etcetera. And i'm only beginning. More examples to come, i'm sure.

p.s. Please, please send frozen waffles!

The 'One Museum' Rule: Travelling with (little) Kids

2008-01-04T21:49:00.000+01:00

Side Note: I thought of something else we'd export back to the States from Germany... free babysitting (for potty trained kids) at large stores - our grocery store, furniture store, Ikea... and it's a play land paradise so Eli loves it. Yes, seriously. Free.

When in London... have tea in the afternoon. And baked goodies. Spend hours in interesting historical places. Walk the crazy, people-littered streets late into the night. Of course, we did none of these things. But we totally would... next time... when our children are in college.

Our situation demands that we travel now, while we're here, and we need to take the kids along so we make it work. London was GREAT. We had a wonderful time and the kids really were troopers. We took naps in the PMs, briefly hit the highlights / kid-friendly exhibits at historical places and museums, and walked the crazy streets sometimes as late as 7:30pm! The only glitch was a flat stroller tire which came in the last few days but it limped through the rest of the trip. Oh, and our Nuvi (GPS) almost made us late for our train in Brussels when it sent us to a "gas station" waaaay off the autobahn. It turned out to be a barren field.

Thoughts... for those of you considering international travel with very young children (you should be laughing hysterically now), we have some rules and will argue the pros and cons, below. We were the only parents with young children among the many, many Americans we saw and spoke with in London, and expect to be so everywhere we go for the next three years.

Rules:

1. Plan heavily. Not just where you will go. I mean what time you will go on which day, exactly which exhibits or attractions you will see (based, of course, on kid interest), and precisely where the nearest bathrooms and cafes with hot water are for bottle feedings, snacks, and pottyings. You must spend hours each evening planning for the next day, going to the nearest convenience store for snacks, and packing the backpack/diaper bag.

2. You may go to one museum per week. The good news is many have kids 'Discovery' packets or similar gimmick. The only exception to this rule allowing more than one museum is if it is a children's museum (London had a Natural History Museum with dinosaurs). You have two hours, maximum. You may not go to an art museum of any kind.

3. Make everything interesting and play everywhere. For Eli, this was easy. Riding underground trains, double-decker buses, and walking along the street where he could see (gasp) cars! The best part of vacation, as far as he's concerned. Play and tickle, make up silly songs and rhymes, do 'I spy' games... all while waiting in line or following the guide to the next lecture stop.

4. You may eat anywhere so long as it serves food within 15 minutes. The same as at home, you will not go to a fancy restaurant (any place that has cloth or linen on the table) to sample decent, non-tourist food and relax. Don't even consider it.

Pros of Travelling with Kids under Age 5:

Kids are free... on any type of travel except planes, and get into attractions free too.

They have no demands on where to go... other than the usual toy store, home, etc.

You are not tied to the school schedule and can travel anytime.

Fun family pictures and great family memories.

Cons of Travelling with Kids under Age 5:

Too many to list here. Summary: Can go to no more than two places per day, several attractions are simply not an option, must look for elevators that accommodate strollers everywhere you go, and your day ends very early (no plays, shows, shopping).

Our motto is "Just Do It" or we'll regret it later.

Schloss Flikkema

2007-12-19T21:37:00.000+01:00

The important rooms (with live models) are shown at the Castle Flikkema. We left out the bathrooms, laundry, guest, and pantry/storage areas. You'll have to visit if you really want to see them. We love the house God led us to. It's the right amount of room, has heated flooring (a little finicky but we're figuring that out), and great neighbors. Most importantly - it's at the best possible location. Drawbacks? Open, floating stairway (a magnet for Mary) and very, very hard floors. These are nice for cleaning - but must be cleaned more often; and provide thousands of opportunities for bumps on the head - we've seen several already. So we install gates, buy rugs, and make sure we know where the nearest hospital is. Enjoy the pics (scroll down on the right).

I am Mary, hear me roar.

2007-12-18T22:33:00.000+01:00

Mary has suddenly decided she's had it with the cute baby routine and will now assert herself decisively when she does or does not want something. Thankfully she's a bit odd and does like vegetables - but that's getting off the subject. Today was a banner day for Miss Mary. She literally pushed Eli out of the way when he attempted to share the toy she was using. She yelled at me and kicked hard enough to shake the table when I didn't feed her fast enough. And then the most hilarious of all.

Eli and Kevin were playing Uno on the couch (Eli's new favorite game and he's good at it) and Mary wanted the cards. She dragged herself to standing at the couch and slowly inched closer and closer to Eli. He saw her coming and moved to block with his right arm. She attempted go go over his arm. He moved his cards further away. She tried to worm under. He shifted his body to shut her out. Now Mary is right on top of him and grabbing his shoulder, pulling and pushing to let him know she wants cards! I am watching and laughing. Finally she grabs a drink coaster sitting nearby and throws it in front of Eli in either an attempt to distract or make a trade, I'm not sure, and goes for the grab with her other hand. This also fails to get her a card - which she would almost certainly eat given the bright pretty colors and her penchant for chewing on non-food items. Being just 10 months old she gracefully accepts defeat, for now.

On a different subject we picked up our second car and are done car shopping. It's a VW Polo Sport - bright blue - and even has a sunroof. Kevin has something to drive to work and we no longer need to drive gutless, silver, bland rental cars. I'm just glad I can now find our cars in the parking lot at the local supermarket. I've walked right up to the door of too many silver wagons I didn't have keys for (see previous post regarding car colors) before realizing the car was not mine.

'Insider' No More

2007-12-16T21:51:00.001+01:00

It's true. I've been an 'insider' my entire life. Though not part of the cool crowd at school I was never bottom rung. I have always belonged... at church, at work, at play, at the stores, etc. Now I am getting but a small taste of what it is like to be.... you know... an 'outsider' (ssshhh!). And as I always suspected, it stinks. I get the feeling this is one of those lessons from God that is - gggrrrr - good for me. I guess. Yes I know, being a foreigner in Europe with my ethnicity, background, etcetera is likely easier than anywhere else on the planet and certainly easier than many Americans have it in my own country. Perhaps God knows about my low tolerance for social rejection and I get to start at 'beginner level.'

Diagnosis: Many told us 'everyone speaks English in Europe.' This is a lie. Language is our biggest barrier to becoming 'insiders' here in Germany so believe me I'm noticing who speaks what. Upon moving to Einod, we eagerly began attending neighborhood fests to show we want to get to know people (which we do) and that we're not stuck up Americans who won't even try to learn the language (which we hope we will not be). Admittedly, eagerness has been replaced by resolve. Last night I attended an Advent story time at the village church with the kids. It was very nice and welcoming but of course included holiday songs we don't know and smiling faces afraid to or uninterested in speaking to me. This is becoming a habit. It's a small village and everyone knows each other. At the Christmas Market this weekend we went with a few people the first night and so had a few people we could talk to. Went the second night on our own and we mostly stood alone. You know me - daughter of my parents - I saw a couple I vaguely recognized from Eli's Kindergarten and barged into their group introducing myself all around trying to start a conversation. It worked okay - they were friendly once I broke the 'smile from a distance' - but I came home feeling unsatisfied, unincluded. And it wasn't the first time. This past week has been a reality check in humility. Realizing that shopkeepers try to move you along so they won't have to try so hard to communicate with you or deal with your ignorance of products is humbling. A few weeks back one lady lost patience with me asking her to repeat how much I owed and trying to count change - she grabbed my hand, took the correct coins, and dismissed me. In front of other people. You can imagine how I felt.

Prescription: Like any control freak worthy of the label I work out my frustrated thoughts by obsessively cleaning (as in scrubbing the lid of the garbage can kind of cleaning) and vacuuming (something I've had to learn how to do, as this used to be Kevin's job), checking off every single errand on the to-do list, and generally try to avoid further contact with people. Psychologists would probably call this 'attempting to control my environment' or denial. But, hey! We do what works in our own mini-crises.

Cure: Prescriptions only cover the symptoms, in this case, rather than deal with the problem. And I know the answer already. Trust God. Keep at it (i.e. resolve). Learn. And forever and ever make sure that, if it is even slightly within my realm of influence, include the 'outsiders' and remember that ignorance of a language does not equal unintelligent.

Please Send Ice Cream.

2007-12-10T22:31:00.000+01:00

Friends and family have been inquiring as to our desired American products with the holiday season upon us. Unfortunately, the items on our wish list are somewhat difficult to ship:

Ice Cream: The few varieties available here are frothy/creamy and have little or no added yummies. Kevin cries every night around 10pm in front of the freezer.
Crock Pot: Slow cooking is unheard of here. Of course, we'd need a 220 volt adapted one.
Cream Soups: All of my recipes call for these, but they do not exist. Sigh.
Fritos, Fig Newtons, Lemonades: Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.
Grocery Carts: The carts here turn on all four wheels and you need the skills of a Nascar driver to turn into the next aisle. (Grocery Bags also desired, but due to recycling mandate - see below - do not exist).
Gas: Yes, I know you think it is expensive there... it is twice as expensive here. We spend the equivalent of $100+ every time we fill up a full tank in a regular size car.
Wooden Walls & Closets: Houses are made of poured cement walls. Sturdy but painful and impossible to decorate (many drill bits are now dust, nails die in contorted positions). Closets do not exist - you must purchase (or get from the company, as we do) large pieces of furniture - like wardrobes - to put everything in. Clothes, towels, cleaning supplies. Everything.
Two Car Garage with House Entry: I will have to back the car out to put the children in. And we can't put a tool kit in there with the car.
Directions... as in North/East/South/West: They literally do not use these words here. Not in conversation or on the Autobahn. They say, instead "up by Bamburg" or "near Miesenbach." And the signs on the Autobahn are the same. An entrance/exit ramp has only city names on it so unless you know every town in Germany, you do not know whether you are getting on going north or south. Takes some getting used to. Or a GPS system.

What can we send? It's easiest to notice what we are lacking but there is much that is also good. If we could we would export to you:

Lindt Chocolates: I'm convinced they come directly from heaven.
Recycling System: You must recycle, as true garbage gets picked up only twice a month and the can is very small. This is enforced and done quite well.
Autobahn Speeds: There are speed zones, and construction, but in between them you can go very, very fast.
Checkless Banking: Checks are not available here. You bring the bill to the bank (and of course can go online), they stamp it, it's done.

But the cars are European designed (just don't buy a European minivan - not as advanced as American and sliding doors are unheard of) and quite nice. So we bought a car. An Opel Vectra. This is a GM brand that left the states in 1975 but does well in Europe. It has more features than we need but was a good price, used, so we sacrificed our humility and drove it home. Black. This is noteworthy only because 92.6 percent of the cars on the road in Germany are silver. This is absolutely true. You can NOT get a white car at all and red/maroon is a very rare sight indeed. We did get a wagon however, which half of the population drives - though mostly in silver. My fav features are auto open/close hatch in the back, heated leather seats, and dual climate control.

Kid Updates: Mary has finally started crawling on her knees. And today she pulled herself up a few times. She was extremely proud of herself, excited, and twice as cute. Eli has a goose egg on his forehead that may get me arrested but he did it all by himself on our hard tile floors. Yesterday he says to me "Mom, when are you ever going to do laundry? My laundry basket is full." I live to serve.

Drink and Be Merry

2007-12-06T13:53:00.000+01:00

Those of you who know me well know that I drink pink lemonade (or regular to spice things up) almost constantly. When I really wanted something special I would drive to my local Starbucks or Caribou and have myself a Tall Carmel Hot Apple Cider (aka Hot Apple Spice) with whip topping. Much to my horror I learned that these items are not available in Germany. At all. They are, like Fig Newtons and Fritos and Canned Cream Soups - a good 3500 miles away. For me this continues to be a serious beverage crisis. My current substitute of Coke (Pepsi is findable but not popular) is probably not so healthy. But really, drinking bubble-enhanced water is just not refreshing. Everyone here drinks flavorless carbonated water. I do not claim to understand.

Yesterday I forced Kevin to take vacation and have a family day. I had warned him that there would be happiness and joy and bonding, all day. This was tough to do as Eli is still recovering from his sickness and is not the sweetest of boys. We did manage to get to the toy store, which was fun, and found a Christmas Tree. Christmas, by the way, is December 24th and is called Weihnachs (Holy Night). It is followed by the 2nd and 3rd days of Christmas - three holidays.

So we went to the one place that has trees - like a Home Depot - and were the only people buying one. The folks around here don't sell or buy trees til one week before Christmas. Kevin's coworkers say the tree will die and think we are crazy Americans. But I think we figured it out - their tree stands are not made to hold water - they just hold the tree. So it looks great - I'll include a pic soon.

And today - the 6th - is St. Nicholas Day. Tradition has it that children put their shoes outside their doors the evening before and St. Nicholas will give them some treats and small toys if they've been good - or beat them with a switch if they've been bad. Germans of our generation say the 'bad kid' part of the story is not so popular anymore and gets left out of the story. Eli put out his shoes last night. We decided to blame his attitude on being sick and let him have his little treats. Besides, he had already gotten a taste of the switch last night during an incident at bath time. Mary got nothing - it's tough being a baby.

Busy Days

2007-12-03T21:29:00.000+01:00

We will never again doubt those who say having two young children is 4 times busier than having 1. We can't doubt it; we're experiencing it. Eli was home sick today so getting many things done: buying train tickets to London, making a deal on a car (one down!), ordering curtains, clearing up bank messes - plus the usual cooking and cleaning - makes for a very tired me. To top it all off I burned myself on the oven - which I could show you on the web cam if you'd all get hooked up and be online occasionally (speaking to members of the Wanders family here).

We bought an Opel Vectra Caravan (a wagon). I know, I know, just what you've always wanted. We'll take pictures when we get it home in a week. Paperwork and proof of insurance, pollution controls, and general trustworthiness is required to take a vehicle home in Germany and it can take awhile. Just as many things do (i.e. phone/Internet service, 2+ months).

For fun: Eli's two favorite words right now, besides 'nein' (no, in German), are 'Botheration!' when he's annoyed, or 'Whatever' - sometimes in a snotty tone - when I've asked him to do something. This from my 3 year old. Mary's favorite words are 'da da da da da'. She otherwise keeps busy pulling hair / earrings (belonging to mom or sometimes a stranger standing too close), demanding adult food - though she has no teeth, or trying to do everything Eli does. She actually tries to drive cars and trains. It is so cute. I will try to get a mini-movie this week.

Church & Children

2007-12-03T00:01:00.000+01:00

We found a church last Sunday! And went again today. It's a German church led by an American pastor. Evangelical Free, the services are mostly in German with some songs in English. The sermon and announcements are translated into English live and we wear earpieces so we can see/hear both languages. Smallish but half Americans and half Germans. Very nice, very normal, and we don't plan to look any more.

And then... Eli got sick. Started coughing / barking like a seal = Croup. Yuck. He's already been awake once. During the day though it wasn't too bad. Cute moment: At dinner we were wondering what the word for 'mouth' was in German (Deutsch) and we didn't know. Kevin says "Boca is what it is in Spanish." Sandra says "Bouche is what it is in French." Then Eli says in all seriousness "Mund is what it is in Deutsch." We look at him rather surprised. I go to get the bilingual dictionary - he's right. Counted to 'Ein Hundert' auf Deutsch on the way to church this morning to amuse himself, I guess. Picking things up quickly as we knew he would.

To begin with...

2007-12-02T22:37:00.000+01:00

Tough to put the last 2 months into a post so I'll summarize:

Week #1 - Rough. Awake at night, tired during the day, Mary had a terrible cold, ate whatever we could find (not well) and generally felt like aliens.
Week #2 - Slightly better... but we left city hall with our passports on the car roof in a folder and then saw them in the rear-view mirror spread all over a major road. I ran in front of traffic to retrieve them. Learned "tut mir leid" (I'm sorry) as our new favorite phrase, to be said whenever we messed up - often.
Week #3 - Dealt with house closing paperwork by driving to the US embassy in Luxembourg for US notary services - painful - and moved IN to our new place which actually went very well.
Week #4 - Discovered doors lock differently in this country... spent more than an hour outside our front door, even though we had the key, because we had left a key on the inside lock of the door and you can not get in. Landlord came and broke in. Many neighbors noticed, commented, and were surely amused at the American doofuses.
Week #5 - Eli is liking school a little at a time. We love them - very sweet & helpful. Final closing on the house in Iowa.
Weeks 6-8 Settling into the house - shopping constantly. And went to Bavaria to get away from settling in. Kevin was gone for a week in there and I continued to figure out how to feed the family. Went to a fun kids playground place, though... and that's the day it began to rain.
Weeks 9-10 Rain, rain, rain. What does the sun look like anyway? Planning for Christmas and shopping for cars - not the funnest job but necessary. Mary had her 9-month appointment. She weighed 9.13 kilograms and was 74 centimeters long for those of you who like to do conversions. And she had another cold. Hopefully she's getting it all done before winter really sets in.