What Happens in Mallorca...

First gals vacation for me and I want more. Sigh. Four outgoing friends + sunny, warm weather + willingness to ignore the budget (temporarily) + determination to laugh = FUN. Low season meant there were no crowds and we only ate good food, served to us by others, while it was still hot! Pure bliss for 4 moms who left 10 children behind with their dads.

View from our balcony, sunrise / moonset on Saturday.

I told Kevin it would not be his thing - he agrees - as it included laying on the beach with visits to the spa and shops and only one token visit to a tourist attraction. So what did he do here on the homefront? Went to a fun museum, the toy store, on walks. They had a great time and missed me not at all. Mary called me 'daddy' all morning and had to be bribed to even give me a hug. Eli wanted presents. I believe this means I should go away more often.

Me, Sarah, Sandra, Jessica

We did what girls do. We blabbed about our personal lives, we vetted each other's outfits before going out, we encouraged each other to spend money, we complained about men, we fought over who would get to pay. And, unavoidably, we bragged on our kids and even our husbands. In between and during chatting (remember, we're all outgoing, so talking was loud and continuous) we hit a few beaches and even got a little sun. We enjoyed the spa at our on-the-beach hotel and the balconies of our next-door rooms with sea views. We ate Pasta, Tapas, Pizza, Indian, and Burger King. We stayed out late dancing (4am, folks) and took long showers. We did not catch up on any sleep. Here's the list of characters:


Sarah: Mom of four. Prone to motion sickness (and therefore permanently in the navigator's seat), curious about the lives of strangers and friendly to a fault. Funniest moment - aiding and abetting an illegal street vendor by yelling "Excuse me! Sir!" and throwing a dropped 'leather' wallet to him as he was running from the police. We saw the car a minute later coming around the corner. Hilarious.

Jessica: Mom of two and new to Germany. This was her first trip since coming here, in fact. Never seen without makeup and needing regular infusions of cafe-au-laits she is a beach lover and an early riser (good thing we roomed together as the other two were not). She was the only one ready to go clubbing a second night! Funniest moment - draping herself reluctantly over a motorcycle for a great sexy photo and making a quick escape before we had to explain ourselves to its owner.


Sandra P.: Mom of two from Ireland (married to a US military contractor). Gut-busting colorful language in an adorable accent and the only non-wine drinker of the group. She made sure we all got 'ice showers' (by throwing it at us) in the spa and educated the rest of us on Indian cuisine. Funniest moment - letting loose in the 70's & 80's club room, singing at the top of her lungs and taking pictures for purposes of evidence - and perhaps bribery - of us all dancing like loons.

Me: Mom of two. Driver for the weekend and the most likely to indulge... in food, spa treatments, shopping. Lone person not seeking coffee infusions, I danced the night away and still couldn't sleep in the next morning. Funniest moment - silly comments and loud singing as well as being a mother hen throughout the weekend making sure everyone was okay.



We're already planning to do it again. The French Riviera is calling our names.

How to Make A German Friend

About 25 miles from there are 50,000 Americans who sometimes have dreams of "really getting to know Germany and making German friends." This is nearly impossible when most of your business can be done on base (for cheaper) and the German businessess in the area speak perfect English. Neighborhoods are segregated and Kindergartens limit the number of American kids they will accept in order to have places for more permanent residents.



Our chances are far better but by no means guaranteed. And, to save you a year or so on the learning curve, I have some guidelines on how to make a friend as an American in Germany:



#1 Live with them. Do not live in an American neighborhood. You will get a spot in the Kindergarten (eventually) and are not viewed as temporary (though you probably are) and therefore avoidable. Don't have a kid? Get a dog. Just as good in the eyes of many.



#2 Start walking. To the local shops and to school. On the walking paths and all the time (you will see your neighbors out there in the rain and snow). Germans walk often and everywhere and can not continue to ignore you if they keep seeing you.



#3 Be A Pest. Keep showing up at the local celebrations of strange saints' holidays, steeplechase contests and soccer games. You might stand utterly alone for a time but you will lose the tourist label and get a few nods and smiles in your direction.



#4 Start talking. It is a rare person here who will come up to you in welcome. It isn't because they aren't friendly - it's because they don't know if you are - and they don't know what to say. Walk in someone's direction - yes this is hard to do - and introduce yourself in any language and smile big.

#5 Stock Tea. Start inviting and do it first or it won't happen. Cake and coffee/tea on real plates at a set table are standard for afternoon visits (and many have expresso machines). I'm a bit more casual but I have started making sure I have tea and baked goods! Germans make friends for life and stay in contact forever. We don't and they know it. You have to be aggressive or you won't get past that.



#6 Grit Your Teeth. Keep doing all of the above even when you've had it and the smile on your face is plastic. One day you'll have a great conversation or visit with a new friend/neighbor and experience a bit of social euphoria that will carry you through.

(Me and a friend: Claudia Muller)

After finally figuring out what was going on in my neighborhood I started getting involved and it was a true test of endurance. No one talking to me or the (rare) few folks who start out disliking me at the play group, the tumbling hour, the soccer field. I almost quit all of them but kept going. Now they all smile in greeting and I talk to everyone I meet on a walk and it really does feel great. Of course, i've had to start drinking tea and pushing dinner back (schedule of most Germans is later than ours) but I don't mind. A friend - especially one in a faraway land - is worth it.