How To Explain Eggnog?

Or Thanksgiving, for that matter? I've tried to do so this week. Strange how our customs and traditions don't sound weird at all, until you need to give background and solid reasons to a curious foreign friend. When you get questions like "Why do you watch football on a family holiday?", for example. Errrr, uuuuhhhhh. You just do. That's why.

Might as well wear those holiday clothes, too.

I jumped into German culture our first two years and ignored Thanksgiving. Kevin had to work anyway. We had PB&J in 2007, if I recall. But this year the Rogers said we ought to do it. So we did. It was great. Tasted incredible (I made the eggnog, by the way), felt wonderful - even if only for a few hours - and there was even football on TV.

A Medical (Mental) Adjustment

I am a fairly adaptable person. There are many pieces of German culture that we have adopted and will remain a part of this household forever, wherever that household migrates to on this planet. But in two years of trying, I find I am unable to break my American perspective on all things medical, having for too long enjoyed the world standard in medicine.

Existing on the 'good' side of the equation, German medicine offers real, true well-child checkups for children: 2 hours long, vision/hearing/mobility/cognition tests done in the office in addition to the all over exam. Also in their favor is the lack of medical malpractice suits to drive every doctor out of town and country. Finally, they have on-call house doctors when desperately needed, even on weekends.

But the American in me also wants, and does not often see:

• gloves to be worn when drawing blood or fluid samples (or at least hands being washed inbetween drawings being performed by the same person. seriously)
• a waiting room that is bigger than a closet, has more than a plastic plant for diversion, and contains fewer than 38 people waiting to see the same doctor at the same time.
• a bit less of 'doctor knows best' and a bit more of 'the mom knows' kind of listening.
• the ability to purchase Ibuprofen without a prescription.

My biggest complaint was highlighted last year with Eli's nasty tonsils and this year with Mary's troublesome ears, however. And that is the reluctance of doctors (and parents) to do even the simplest operation (tubes in the ears, for example) unless they have exhausted all homeopathic and modern medicines, the full store of a mother's patience, and countless hours of time spent at checkups and pharmacies. Last year I gave up on this side of the pond, went to the states, and had Eli's tonsils yanked, FINALLY solving the problem.

This year remains to be seen. The ENT is nice. He actually has a decent office. But he has prescribed no less then 7 different medicines in various combinations to fix Mary's very real fluid-in-the-ear and ear infection issue in the last 3 weeks. All but one are homeopathic. A new (and somewhat alarming) experience for me. These drugs, for adults and children, almost ALL contain ALCOHOL. To dry up the fluid, silly. And now we're putting oil into her nose that has Glycerol-something-or-another in it.

Ranting to my German friends has proved predictably pointless. They have informed me I am too quick to operate and operations are all dangerous and scary. They have a point. I am trying to listen. But "wait-and-see" has never, ever been my strong-suit. I pursue a solution as quickly as possible. I am being forced to hold my horses.

Honeymoon's Over

Eek. Two months gone. Not sure how I couldn't have noticed since I slept very little during that time. After Denmark / Norway we spent crunch time bonding with all our friends here then we left for three weeks to the states (see pics at right) where Mary was sick the whole time and Eli part of the time and I travelled through three states in a VW bug with too much luggage but saw lots of good friends and then back here with mom where we went on a weekend to the Black Forest, rushed through busy regular life, then flew to Madrid for five days / nights (see pics at right) and then back here but Kevin was gone to the States and he's still not back but now my mom is gone and i'm still not getting much sleep. Now you're all caught up. Thanks for (attempting) reading.



For October, at least, we will be the boring Flikkema family, we hope. The Honeymoon (with Europe, with travelling) is over.



Being in the States showed me that there are many good things to be said about my home country. Things I miss and would like to be a part of again. Living abroad is not better than all things. I still love it here. This is home. But perhaps not living here forever is okay too. And, if you are interested in advice (i'm pretty free with it so ignore at will), here's mine. Don't travel to check off a list. Don't travel for the sake of travelling. You'll still find lots to enjoy if you do. But you'll weary of it. As often happens with my husband and I, we both became enlightened around the same time. I wouldn't change my last trips for anything (great times with my mom, fabulous times with friends and seeing my new nephew). But I am going to change my future plans. Rather then checking off Berlin, Brussels, and Vienna - we're giving Europe a rest - many sights yet unseen.



We're going only where we really want to go. When we really want to do it. And preferably with loved ones who are visiting. We miss being a part of the lives of the people we care about. Your summer weekends, campouts, and reunions were the cause of much jealousy around here. We can't wait to do them with you. Your side of the ocean or ours.

Kid-Friendly

We got home last night. Within minutes my neighbor came over with some bread, in case we were hungry and had no food in the house. While we were gone she watered the flowers and took our garbage to the curb and back.

Today I had to visit the store in order to feed my ever-hungry children. This must-do-twice-weekly trip has graduated from the category of 'dread' to 'hooray!' since Mary potty-trained. She can now go to the excellent and free child-care center with Eli. They can't wait to go. I can't wait to go. They play, do art projects, build trains, slide, and play games. And when I picked them up today after some blissfully-quick childfree grocery shopping, the head teacher - who knows us well - gave me a stack of finger paintings done by my kids in the previous month. She had matted and framed them and simply said "these are from your previous visits, to take home." I practically had tears in my eyes.

This afternoon we went to get haircuts for my shaggy-haired pups. They love the kids at this salon and treat them like little royalty. Eli asked for blue hair at the end of his buzz cut (I do not know why). So his stylist goes to find a blue mascara and colors it for him. He spends the rest of the day convinced he is a "rock star." Of course they get suckers as rewards, as well. Most days I really love living here and some days, like today, it feels like a little slice of kid-friendly heaven.

Very disappointed that the color wasn't permanent... pic before the wash off.

Our trip to Copenhagen in Denmark and the fjords (click for definition) and Cities of Norway was wonderfully kid-friendly as well. With one exception we were impressed with the people and places and their love of children. Some loved our kids in the moment more than we did. I really wanted to enjoy our kids this trip. What's the old saying? "You'll usually find what your looking for." Photos and stories that way ----->

Tea Time & Gewurztraminer

This child lives for bread and soup dinners.

Entering Riquewihr, France. Walled. Stone houses.

Canal ride in rickety boat. In the rain.

My 13 year-old teacups and saucers got their first taste of hot liquid this morning when I scrubbed them out and hosted an almost-German morning breakfast / tea time. We had coffee cake without coffee, cheeses without meats, and a frittata rather than bread-n-butter BUT I still claim success based on good conversation and my new purchase of a water-heating pitcher. Tea kettles are only found in gift stores or online. This is my concession to hot caffeinated liquids. I have still never brewed a cup of coffee.


Had a hard time concentrating since I was awaiting news from Chicago, which came just after lunch - a new nephew!! Very excited for Janelle, David and our whole family on the arrival of Ethan David. Sad that mom isn't here to brag to the whole world. Kev's dad is doing a good job of it though. A good day. And a hard one. One of the very few where I feel far away from where I want to be. But we will be trippin' there very soon.... after we get this frivolous 9 days in Scandinavia out of the way. Hah! We're excited. About all of it.


Insight: Travel guide books say the best time to travel to Europe is in the summer. They lie. You will either burn to a crisp (Spain, Italy) or be struck by lightning while trudging through the rain in your brand-new, "bought for this trip" tennis shoes (Germany, Netherlands, France, etc).


We have never regretted a trip. Not even an I've-got-a-crazy-idea-for-this-weekend kind of excursion and we won't start now. But we did have a few, shall we say, 'issues' when we chose to catch Le Tour De France last Friday and Saturday. Got wet, got goodies, got squashed in the crowds and advertisers parade on Friday afternoon almost at the finish in Colmar, France. The kids, God love 'em, loved it. They were the definite bright spot (this changes, stay tuned) watching all the crazy themed cars, catching free hats and snacks, and staying in one place in the pouring rain for 90 minutes to see 2 minutes worth of bike racing. Other bright spot: Gewurztraminer white wine. Specialty of the region and new Flikkema favorite. Tried it that night at dinner and started looking for bottles to buy.


Booking the hotel last-minute meant only one room left that can fit only one extra travel bed. Kid on either end of this too-small-poor-excuse-for-a-sleeping-recepticle meant lots of this.
"She kicked me!"
"Mom, her toenails scratched me!"
"Stop it Eli! No!"
... in addition to the trials of a toddler in potty training afraid of going #2. At 2am. And 3am.


After that fabulous night we decided to go back to standing in one place in the rain. But for 2 full hours this time! The kids did well though, re-loved the exact same parade, and banged their giveaway rumble-sticks when the bikers went by. They even got kid-sized "LiveStrong" bracelets. Don't ask if we saw Lance. We probably did. He had a helmet on, right? Took a little boat ride on a cute canal in town, browsed a happy electric train mini-museum, then headed for a walled-medieval town, very cute, and a restaurant in the middle of the forest somewhere. I had a smoked, minced-pork meat pie.... "Je t'adore, mince-meat-pie! Tres magnifique!" And a glass of Gewurztraminer. And the sun decided to shine.


After another fun night of bickering and backside reminders we ventured to the castle fortress of Haut Koenigsbourg in the misty rain. Very cool place. Eli and Mary ran through little stone doorways, up and down steps, had a good time. Then they slept, thankfully, while Kevin, I, and the GPS got good and hopelessly lost in the stomach-clenching curvy, misty Vosges Mountain Range. We somehow escaped, made ourselves feel worse by eating McDonalds, and survived the drive home.


Glad we did it. Won't do it again. Will happily go along with any visitors next year to the town hosting Le Tour and will sightsee with the kids while you stand 'at the line' and catch hats.

Putz Frau

Many people here hire a 'Putz Frau' (pron: 'Puts Frow') or Cleaning Lady as standard help. It's not expensive and so not just for the wealthy. It's tempting. But I fear that having someone else clean for me would remove 80% of my reason for being. Measuring by time spent, of course, not by worth. I hope.

A few more ways i've been culture-resistant:

• I don't drink carbonated water (though Kevin does).




• I make sandwiches for lunch and hot food for dinner rather than the other way around.




• At 5:00pm I am starting dinner, not having tea/coffee and cake as an afternoon snack.




• I wear shorts. And my husband will never wear a speedo or manpris.




• I purposely teach my preschool-age kids academics. At home if necessary. Fully homeschooling is illegal here, and parents are consistantly discouraged from teaching their little kids the basics of reading or math as they would be 'bored in school.' Not many educational options here. But the preschools are thankfully terrific in all other ways.




• Our longest vacation might be a week long and we'll stay in 3 different places. We don't have the vacation days or patience to stay in one place for 2 weeks straight. Though I can understand the relaxation benefit potential.

That said, however, there are many ways in which i've adapted and embraced:

• I never use ice anymore and get annoyed if we're in a rare European restaurant that puts cubes in my drink.




• My children (and I) require at least one warm, salted pretzel a day. Usually as a morning shopping snack. They cost about 50 cents.




• I ordered a trend-fashion, black, rectangular-shaped cool pair of glasses yesterday.




• I like all hard floors in the main living areas. No stains. More fun for the kids and all their toys on wheels.




• At this time I am keeping 5 flower boxes / plants alive (mostly). Something I would never attempt if I didn't live where everyone was raised knowing everything about plants and showcased them in spectacular fashion.




• If we have a particularly busy weekend and are running all over I feel somehow robbed.




• We're rediscovering new uses for our legs... walking, riding, rolling.

Potty-Time Mary

$wiss $horts

Flikkema Family Creed #14: "If we go on a vacation, we go all out." That means we go to the top of each building / mountain / structure, ride every available form of transportation, and hire private tours. Gourmet dining is - sadly but understandably - excluded from this creed due to the existence of small children. This creed makes for more memorable vacations with fewer regrets. Until your credit card bill shows up, anyway.

$witzerland is painfully expensive. We've been there twice and are thinking next summer looks good for a third trip. Right after we get our (hopefully large) tax refund. Pretend you're in Chicago and you get your food and drink exclusively from the vendors at Wrigley Field. And you're staying at the Hyatt next door. And taking limos to VIP sites all over town.

• Cheapest Meal: approx. $42 lunch of brats, chips, and two shared drinks
• Best Find: hidden 40% off coupon (Kevin's addiction for brochure browsing finally pays off) for the most expensive Gondola ride in the area
• Most Ridiculous Price: $68 for a used, small cow bell (we declined to purchase it)
• Best Deal: for $5 parking we hiked and saw 7 incredible wateralls and 1 cool snake

The best anesthetic to the pain is, of course, Switzerland itself. All the Germans we know go to Austria. It's cheaper, plenty of mountains, and has hotels that cater to families. We may try it out in the Spring. But we love Switzerland. We went before the summer crowds (though we still had to run occasionally to beat out tour busloads) and after the bad weather.

• The Good: Mountain tunnels, waterfalls, the apartment, pool slide, watching paragliders, hiking, riding gondolas, summer toboggan runs, train rides and happy kids.
• The Bad: Steep inclines with the stroller (oops wrong turn), losing a hat, losing a pillow, losing a sweatshirt, losing a gondola ticket (sigh), bugs, clouded-in mountain peak.
• The Ugly: I had to wear my glasses the whole time and the sun was painfully bright. Eli's knees and hands after 4 days of hiking (tripping).

Our children were much happier here than they were in Prague. Coincidentally, we liked them better too. It's the one place we're willing to go back to. Though i'm sure repeat visits is against at least one of our family creeds....

Ahoiy! Bring on the Coleslaw.

You know what's great about Prague? We had to learn to share. Painful, yes, but we all did a little of what the others wanted and in the end it was a good lesson. I think. Kevin got his viewpoints (that means steps, folks, lots of 'em). Eli got his streetcars, subway trains, and taxis. Mary got her treats. And I got coleslaw. Cabbage, white cabbage, is a staple of the Czech diet and coleslaw comes with every meal. As my family is not as sophisticated as I am, I got 4 helpings.

Here is a slightly generalized breakdown of our activities, below. For more details, see captions of our pics to your right (that way --->).

The black light show was entertaining (Image Theatre) and the kids were rapt. Thankfully, as they were the only children in the large audience. And it seemed like in all of Prague. They are now able to stay up late a night or two, which is very nice, but still not fancy-restaurant-ready. We discovered two more great reasons to travel with your kids. You SAVE MONEY by eating at KFC / McD's instead of gourmet and going to only one show instead of staying out late every night at a club or theatre. Also, and this is important, you arrive VERY EARLY at all the popular sites (while other tourists are sleeping off hangovers) and never need to wait in a line. Plus no one wants to be mean to cute little kids so you get the best viewing spots and seats on the fullest of trams.

More learning for mom and dad. Eli and Mary are, strangely, not as interested in old buildings as we are. And this trip they let us know that. It's getting harder... looking for strange statues that might catch their interest, finding fountains that have fish in them, seeking out a snack shop or toy store for bribes. But they're still tough kids and decent travelers. And so we continue to torture them. We console ourselves with the thought that "one day they'll thank us for this" and trade off city tours with funner, kid-friendlier vacations. Next week: Switzerland. The bikes will be coming along (Mary now has a tricycle) and there are zero old buildings on the schedule.

Nose Drops: Cure for the Common Child

Modern medicine in Germany has a different twist to it, and it takes some getting used to. Every childhood ailment can, apparently be aided, improved, or cured with saline nose drops. You still need a prescription because there is .001% of something or another in it but they are just nose drops. Let's take a look at the diagnosis.

Cold? (Okay this one I can understand)
Nosedrops.

Ear Infection?
Nosedrops. Antibiotic.

Strep Throat?
Nosedrops. Antibiotic.

Pink Eye? Eye ailment of any kind?
Nosedrops. Eyedrops.

Allergies? Fluid buildup? Cough? Stomach flu?
Nosedrops!

I have not, as yet, needed to bring in a child for a bump to the head or gash in the knee. But i've got four bottles of nosedrops in the cabinet and can treat them myself! When the expat wives get together and trade stories of kids' ailments, this always comes up. At least there is something about childhood illnesses we can laugh about.

Chimney Sweeps & Wish-I-Could-Bleeps

Go waaaay back and think Mary Poppins... remember the chimney sweeps? That image came rushing back to me on Friday when an honest-to-goodness chimney sweep showed up at my door. He looked exactly like this (including the hat, I kid you not):

Now I hire a chimney sweep service in Iowa and it was a couple colleged kids in t-shirts and jeans. Not the ultra-humble, exceedingly polite and deferential version I found on my doorstep. They didn't speak German either, come to think of it.... He said he'd be back next year. I may ask to take his picture.

---------------------------------

"The payer will pare the pair of pears." You can imagine how this will trip up a new English speaker. Aha! German has some similar challenges. Knowledge is double-edged sword which means I try to say a lot more - as I know more - and I inevitably embarrass myself. Sigh.

For example. I learned this week that every single time we were out walking with the kids and ran across a dog owner out with their pet I asked, for the benefit of my interested children "May she paint your dog?" When my teacher was able to speak again after wiping tears of laughter from her eyes, she explained that the word for "to paint" (streichen) is close to the word for "to pet" (streicheln). Only German ears /tounges get the difference as that one measly 'l' in the petting word is basically silent. Grrr.

And to top it all off I was bragging to a German friend at church, in German, how I was "so proud of myself for SHAVING the grass this week." He stared at me blankly a bit and then burst out laughing. By this time I had caught the mistake and found the correct word - very close but no cigar - and was trying to stop him from telling everyone in the vicinity what I had said. Gah! What's that saying about 'pride cometh before a fall....?' I can tell you with absolute certainty that this is true in regards to speaking a new language. But you will amuse your new friends.

When in Holland....

...do as they do and eat as they eat. We found some chocolate sprinkles, strop waffles, liverwurst, black licorice and other nastalgic treats. No Wilhemina peppermints though, doggonit.

We....

... stopped to smell the tulips.

... tried on some wooden shoes.

... played in the water. Er, the kids did. Kev and I stayed dry and warm.

... introduced our children to traditional dutch treats (sprinkles! strop-waffles!).

... rode bikes! Well, Eli did anyway.

... tried out the dutch hairdo. I saw this on several women and decided to try it myself.

... walked / biked the canals in towns and country.

... gawked at windmills.

It was a great weekend (but a loooooong drive). On a side note, Mary has finally learned to steer her little car AND is now sleeping in a toddler bed from a friend. She loves it and is doing great. Only diapers are holding her to her babyhood, now, and I don't know when we'll take that on! Travelling makes potty-training tough and although she seems to understand, she's not very interested. My deadline is January when she starts in the Kindergarden.

Eli: 5 Years in the Making

Eli had a fabulously frenetic 5th birthday weekend with four days of celebrating. Day 1: Zoo with friends. Great large bird / falconer show. Day 2: Party at our house with Deere expat families. On the street. Craziness. Two boys stayed overnight for a sleepover, which leads us to... Day 3: Indoor Playground party with church friends. Exhausting. Day 4: Treats and mini-party at school. Done. Much cake, cookies, cupcakes, brownies, and candy were consumed. Pictures can be found by clicking here.

Best Weekend Moments: Party streamers - not expensive toys - were the hit of the party with the kids wrapping them around each other and running up & down the street; Three exhausted boys telling 'scary' stories and then teaching each other their favorite bedtime prayer; Watching Eli ride his bike and finding out he can do it; Hearing Eli say "I had a great day, mom!" for four days in a row.

I couldn't speak through most of the weekend. But I did cough a lot. The second, stronger antibiotic seems to be working. Finally.

Suddenly a 5-year-old lives here. While he has a few faults (tattle-tales, bossy, argues), he is also perfect. At least to us. In the last year "Mr. E" has accomplished no less than bike-riding, swinging unassisted, buckling his own seatbelt, able to watch 'scary' Disney movies, early reading, near perfect writing, as well as adding/skip-counting/measuring in math. He is a physically more adventurous kid and, since yanking those tonsils last summer, a healthier one too. He also found time to travel heavily, socialize frantically, and get even cuter in the process.

Eli still primarily loves his cars and trains. This year we expanded into Legos and the Wii which has mixed things up a bit. A little pricey but with the added benefit that they are also fun for mom and dad. In his rare free time Eli can be found asking for volunteers to read to/with him, play a board game, or making up rhyming songs. He has his mother's gift for silly poetry, i'm afraid. He is a joy.

Permission slip (not) required.

Like some jaded expat i'd forgotten some intially startling characteristics of this culture until I found myself explaining them to friend, still new to Germany from the States. We have in the US a very protective (read: lawsuit fearing) culture. This blaming-faulting-madness has not yet reached Europe in force. Evidence our local Kindergarten, which we love without reservation.

Once a month the kids are walked about a third of a mile down the hill, along the traffic-heavy main street to the church for 'Kinder Kirche' (Kids Church). The parents are naturally notified so we can get our children to school early avoiding any delays. Permission needed? Nah.

A few weeks back Eli was selected for a special field trip to the Globus supermarket. Several 4-year-olds and a few teachers walked down the hill, boarded the public bus on the main street for the 1.5 mile trip, traversed an insanely busy parking lot, got toothbrushes engraved with their names and a hot lunch to eat at the in-store cafeteria. I was informed by note the day before to pick Eli up at the market. Signatures Required? None.

Each summer the 30-inch deep pool in the kindergarten's back yard (gated, but not guarded) is cleaned up and readied for special sessions of fun in the sun. Parents have a list: suit, arm-floaties, sunscreen, towel, sunhat. Please bring a backpack and leave it at the school as you never know when it will be your son or daughter's turn in the pool. Detailed Release Forms Declining Responsibility? Nope.

It's refreshing. A little alarming. Definitely different.

Bad Luck

Beware when in Germany that you don't stumble into bad luck. For instance....

Before taking a sip of wine / beer / beverage when you are out with friends, you must say "Prost" and - this is very important - look into everyones eyes. If you don't, you'll have seven years of bad sex.

If someone should gift you with pearls, they will bring you nothing but tears and sorrow unless you pay them for the gift - even if it is only a dollar - and therefore render it a non-gift and sidestep the curse.

This next one was strongly reiterated to me this week when making plans for Eli's birthday celebrations. His school is closed for a teacher training day on the 24th, his birthday and I wondered if I might bring in treats (standard) the day before to celebrate. A look of horror crossed his teacher's face and she said, very seriously: "No! Never celebrate a birthday beforehand. We will celebrate on the Monday after." Another friend had told me this but, alas, my American brain believes one should celebrate when it is convenient.

Not so here in Germany. Celebrating before your birthday (a special dinner, a gift, a party) will heap bad luck on the special person for the next year. Just. Don't. Do. It.

Ireland: Bring Your Rainboots

Back from the 'Emerald Isle' and I can say we definitely experienced Ireland's weather, culture, and beauty. The forecast said rain so I bought me some boots and packed the umbrellas and rain coats as well. Wonderful vacation, overall. See the pictures right.

Thursday: Flew in after a good flight and the biggest hassle was getting our rental car (with car seats). Eventually we folded ourselves into a small, backwards Toyota Yaris and crawled out of Dublin. Stopped at Cashel, a monastic site, for a few hours halfway across the country. During the second half of the drive Kevin had to scrape the bushes when other cars passed because the roads are so narrow and constantly turning... it was an experience. Also, they have only two real-ish freeways in the whole country so you spend a lot of time risking your life.

Friday: Saw an aquarium and then drove around the Dingle Peninsula. The sun came out as we neared the tip and we round a corner to an incredible rainbow over the islands just off the coast. Played on the beach - had a blast - and tried to dry Mary out the rest of the day. Ate at the museum for the Great Blasket Island all about the gaelic language and culture - very new and very nice. Then saw lots of beauty the rest of the day driving over a pass and back to our apartment.

Saturday: Our day in and around Killarney National Park was very cloudy, drizzly, and view-limiting. But we did hike to a waterfall, buy some lovely Irish scarves (Kev and I), see a stone circle, and visit an 'historical farm' which the kids enjoyed (especially the blacksmith at work) despite being soaking wet.

Sunday: Left our great apartment and boarded the ferry across the bay and onto the Burren - a barren land - and found the Cliffs of Moher. 600 feet from the top straight down to the sea - they are impressive - and the sun even showed its face so we could enjoy them properly. After a lunch and visit to one last beach Kevin endured one more harrowing drive to Dublin.

Monday: Our last day was cold and wet again but turned out great once we decided to start using taxis to get around and the first one we took brought us to the home of Guiness beer. Fun, modern, interactive showpiece and everyone got free drinks. Kevin got a t-shirt. Then back to Trinity College for a funny tour by a student with heavy Irish brogue. And their old, dark wood-panelled library with ancient books was awesome to see. Could've spent hours there but for a few hungry kids. Back to the hotel for naps. While the kids (and Kevin) were sleeping, I went and bought tickets for Disney on Ice's Nemo, playing a few blocks from our hotel! After some more exploring in the evening the kids got to stay up late and see the show. Loved it. A fun ending to a good family vacation.

Medieval style Asparagus anyone?

April brings 'spring cleaning' in the States. Here it brings asparagus. Huge, white, rated into 5 categories asparagus stalks everywhere you go. White because the stalks are deprived of sunlight (kept mounded in dirt) and therefore cannot create the chlorophyll to turn green. It's "spargel" season. Last year at the special spargel stand at the store I bought a handful of the middle-rated stalks - about the size of a very large carrot. Dutifully, I also purchased Hollandaise Sauce, as is traditional. After my purchase the clerk put my purchased stalks through a special maching (think classic, old-time popcorn maching but with a dozen blades through the middle). Fed through one at a time, the stalks were spit out the opposite end peeled and ready to boil. Had them that night. They were fine, almost tastless but for the mild sauce. More tender (less chewy) than the skinny greens, perhaps. But we decided this was one German obsession we just don't understand.

And this weekend we will probably end up, once again, at the "Middle Ages Market" as we did last April. And wonder anew at the uber-obsession the people here have with all things medieval, castle-like, and knight-ish. A few examples: more than half of the boys' costumes at Fasching were knights. Every major board game here has a 'medieval version.' Most Christmas markets (including the one we went to in Stuttgart last December) are actually two markets. Modern and - you guessed it - Medieval. In the medieval market the huts are tents. The sellers have period robes on. The handmade products are horns, leather ties, swords & knives, old style candles, and woolen clothing. You will usually also see a falcon or other large bird and more than one horse.

The market last year was a trip. Food was sold on sticks or eaten with hands. Visitors (excepting ourselves) were dressed as if it were 500 years ago and stopped to compare leather money purses and sword sheathes with their friends. We bought one small wooden frog for my collection and some sort of meat on a stick. After avoiding sharp swords swinging from strangers and large hounds that were thankfully tame, we (ran for the hills) went home. If you need roughly sown shawls or chainmail... let me know soon.

What Happens in Mallorca...

First gals vacation for me and I want more. Sigh. Four outgoing friends + sunny, warm weather + willingness to ignore the budget (temporarily) + determination to laugh = FUN. Low season meant there were no crowds and we only ate good food, served to us by others, while it was still hot! Pure bliss for 4 moms who left 10 children behind with their dads.

View from our balcony, sunrise / moonset on Saturday.

I told Kevin it would not be his thing - he agrees - as it included laying on the beach with visits to the spa and shops and only one token visit to a tourist attraction. So what did he do here on the homefront? Went to a fun museum, the toy store, on walks. They had a great time and missed me not at all. Mary called me 'daddy' all morning and had to be bribed to even give me a hug. Eli wanted presents. I believe this means I should go away more often.

Me, Sarah, Sandra, Jessica

We did what girls do. We blabbed about our personal lives, we vetted each other's outfits before going out, we encouraged each other to spend money, we complained about men, we fought over who would get to pay. And, unavoidably, we bragged on our kids and even our husbands. In between and during chatting (remember, we're all outgoing, so talking was loud and continuous) we hit a few beaches and even got a little sun. We enjoyed the spa at our on-the-beach hotel and the balconies of our next-door rooms with sea views. We ate Pasta, Tapas, Pizza, Indian, and Burger King. We stayed out late dancing (4am, folks) and took long showers. We did not catch up on any sleep. Here's the list of characters:


Sarah: Mom of four. Prone to motion sickness (and therefore permanently in the navigator's seat), curious about the lives of strangers and friendly to a fault. Funniest moment - aiding and abetting an illegal street vendor by yelling "Excuse me! Sir!" and throwing a dropped 'leather' wallet to him as he was running from the police. We saw the car a minute later coming around the corner. Hilarious.

Jessica: Mom of two and new to Germany. This was her first trip since coming here, in fact. Never seen without makeup and needing regular infusions of cafe-au-laits she is a beach lover and an early riser (good thing we roomed together as the other two were not). She was the only one ready to go clubbing a second night! Funniest moment - draping herself reluctantly over a motorcycle for a great sexy photo and making a quick escape before we had to explain ourselves to its owner.


Sandra P.: Mom of two from Ireland (married to a US military contractor). Gut-busting colorful language in an adorable accent and the only non-wine drinker of the group. She made sure we all got 'ice showers' (by throwing it at us) in the spa and educated the rest of us on Indian cuisine. Funniest moment - letting loose in the 70's & 80's club room, singing at the top of her lungs and taking pictures for purposes of evidence - and perhaps bribery - of us all dancing like loons.

Me: Mom of two. Driver for the weekend and the most likely to indulge... in food, spa treatments, shopping. Lone person not seeking coffee infusions, I danced the night away and still couldn't sleep in the next morning. Funniest moment - silly comments and loud singing as well as being a mother hen throughout the weekend making sure everyone was okay.



We're already planning to do it again. The French Riviera is calling our names.

How to Make A German Friend

About 25 miles from there are 50,000 Americans who sometimes have dreams of "really getting to know Germany and making German friends." This is nearly impossible when most of your business can be done on base (for cheaper) and the German businessess in the area speak perfect English. Neighborhoods are segregated and Kindergartens limit the number of American kids they will accept in order to have places for more permanent residents.



Our chances are far better but by no means guaranteed. And, to save you a year or so on the learning curve, I have some guidelines on how to make a friend as an American in Germany:



#1 Live with them. Do not live in an American neighborhood. You will get a spot in the Kindergarten (eventually) and are not viewed as temporary (though you probably are) and therefore avoidable. Don't have a kid? Get a dog. Just as good in the eyes of many.



#2 Start walking. To the local shops and to school. On the walking paths and all the time (you will see your neighbors out there in the rain and snow). Germans walk often and everywhere and can not continue to ignore you if they keep seeing you.



#3 Be A Pest. Keep showing up at the local celebrations of strange saints' holidays, steeplechase contests and soccer games. You might stand utterly alone for a time but you will lose the tourist label and get a few nods and smiles in your direction.



#4 Start talking. It is a rare person here who will come up to you in welcome. It isn't because they aren't friendly - it's because they don't know if you are - and they don't know what to say. Walk in someone's direction - yes this is hard to do - and introduce yourself in any language and smile big.

#5 Stock Tea. Start inviting and do it first or it won't happen. Cake and coffee/tea on real plates at a set table are standard for afternoon visits (and many have expresso machines). I'm a bit more casual but I have started making sure I have tea and baked goods! Germans make friends for life and stay in contact forever. We don't and they know it. You have to be aggressive or you won't get past that.



#6 Grit Your Teeth. Keep doing all of the above even when you've had it and the smile on your face is plastic. One day you'll have a great conversation or visit with a new friend/neighbor and experience a bit of social euphoria that will carry you through.

(Me and a friend: Claudia Muller)

After finally figuring out what was going on in my neighborhood I started getting involved and it was a true test of endurance. No one talking to me or the (rare) few folks who start out disliking me at the play group, the tumbling hour, the soccer field. I almost quit all of them but kept going. Now they all smile in greeting and I talk to everyone I meet on a walk and it really does feel great. Of course, i've had to start drinking tea and pushing dinner back (schedule of most Germans is later than ours) but I don't mind. A friend - especially one in a faraway land - is worth it.

February Flikkema Fests

In the USA the month of February is about Valentine's Day. In Germany, Saint Valentine warrants one pathetically small display rack of cards at the store. Most people don't even know when it is. No... here it is all about FASCHING. Basically this day (week) is Carnival or Mardi Gras and in our little town it's celebrated by cutting off ties and making kids go to endless parties. Let me explain.

On the Thursday before Ash Wednesday the men go to work with ugly or old ties on because their female coworkers cut them off right before lunchtime. This happens every year. Kevin has on both occasions "forgotten" to wear a tie. No explanation had been given to me for why this occurs. The kids have a huge all day party at school consisting of eating, dancing to fun music, and parading through the school in a single file line saying "Alle.... Ab!" I believe this means "We look.... ridiculous!" but I could be wrong. And anyway, the kids had a blast at all the celebrations (school, baby playgroup, town party, themed bday party). Kevin and I did not participate though the adults do join in and have their own parties as well. Having seen the costumes for adults in the stores... I was afraid to go. More pics here.

Of course for us February also means we celebrate Mary's birthday. She is now TWO folks. Mary can do everything on her own, thank you. I have found her recently wearing a shirt on her legs, standing next to the potty with her pants down ("Mom! Like Eli!") and digging in the refrigerator which she recently got strong enough to open. We had a small party and she loved opening presents. Mary's personality at 2 is sweet and funny. She loves to dance and is very, very determined. She is always a joy. We are having a blast. For party pics click here.

When a Horse Speaks English

Playgroup on Thursdays was probably my most frustrating place for language for a long time - still is since they speak in a strong dialect when talking with each other and I cannot understand a thing. BUT things have improved. Jessica (new friend, expat family from Deere, lives 6 houses away from me, two girls same age as my kids) comes. And the ladies there have become friendlier too. We all went to dinner at a Chinese restaurant last Saturday, as well, and had a good time. We laugh at each others' language difficulties and learn a little as well.

So they asked me for an American song to sing with the little kids - my mind goes blank. They suggested I lead them in "Old McDonald Has a Farm." Okay, here goes! No problem on the cow sound... that's the same in both languages. They had funny looks on their faces when I said a Pig says 'oink.' Looked at each other saying 'oink? oooiiiiinnk?' In German books they say something like 'noof'. I chuckled. But things really got humorous when we got to the horse. 'Neigh?' They all looked at me in disbelief. In German, 'nay' is simply 'no' (also in English but we're flexible). Everyone stopped singing. 'Nayee?' 'Naaay?' They just didn't believe me.

I couldn't believe the words came out of my mouth but I actually said (in German): "When a horse speaks English it says 'neigh'." At which point we all cracked up laughing and gave up on the song. Apparently a horse says 'huii' when speaking German.

Just another cultural learning opportunity for me. If you'd like to learn as well, go to the Animal Sounds Lexicon here.

Mountains & Valleys

Our six-week visit to the states was a buffet of experiences from heart-pumping fun to heart-rending sadness. And everything inbetween. Excellent and exhausting - memories were made (pics to the right). If it were reported in a newspaper it might read something like this:


Headlines - Page 1


"The Flikkema family's quest to get home before Christmas goes from ache to ulcer on the 20th (and 21st) of December - see story page 3."


"Althea Flikkema (Kevin's mom) passed away January 3rd after a battle with cancer - but not before she spent a snowed-in, fun-filled, post-Christmas weekend with her beloved family at a cabin near Hebken Lake. Before she passed she learned of her daughters pregnancy, she played Five Straight with her children, she hugged her grandson and grandaughters and saw the snowman they made for her. God's perfect love and timing were never more evident then during these days."


"When approaching something as big as a knee-replacement operation, Ann Wanders (Sandra's mom) found it was good to have a distraction - like grandkids - and a very caring church family who helped out with child care for Sandra, dinners, etc. The surgery was a success. The recuperation is in progress."


Sports+Leisure - Page 2


"Eli Flikkema got on some skis for the first time in December in Montana - and he liked it! No fear on the lift - tho a bit more on the slopes - he survived two different days of mom and dad's tips and is eager to try again soon. Skiing buddy and cousin Johnny could've done with a bit more fear, but was impressive to watch. Sandra and Kevin skied on other days with other folks too and reacquainted themselves with the face-numbing, knee-paining, gear-hauling joy of playing in the powder."


"The other major pasttime for children and their keepers was sledding. In Big Sky near a ski hill, by the Wanders' house at the park, and at River Rock on Christmas Day... everyone got in on the fun. Mary was reluctant but Eli was fearless, a big change from earlier in 2008."


"Sandra and her other sisters (Janelle, Nicole) spent one day at the spa getting girly, swimming in a heated pool while snowflakes landed in their hair, getting treated, and enjoying. While the 1.5 hour trip home was the most challenging driving (blizzard, visibility = nil) Sandra has done to this point in her life, it was worth it."

"Pup-tent camping in Florida with the 5-member Moss family (Sandra's sister) added a whole new chapter to Sandra's camping experiences log. It was cold. The trees were beautiful. And the wildlife was plentiful. Beating off raccoons (literally. thankfully the kids were in the camper), chasing turkey buzzards, waiting for a wild boar to cross the road, and watching armadillos rustle for food was a true nature experience. The adults didn't sleep due to comfort issues and some crazy bird that sends mating calls at 2am, but the kids had fun."

"Finally, when the excitement has been too much, train-spotting in Indiana was an activity the children could do for hours on end. Eli and his Grandma also learned how to play SkipBo."

Travel+Weather - Page 3

"The Flikkemas quest to get home (continued from page 1) started out simply enough. But one pilot was missing due to illness and the FAA's rules are lame due to bureaucracy. In short, the plane had to land in Maine to await another pilot who was coming from New York (see note on Delta) before it was allowed to go on to Cincinnati. NY was under a blizzard closure (Delta's decision makers are dumb for unknown reasons. Pilot from Atlanta next time please?). The plane - with said Flikkemas and other victims on board - sat on the tarmac of a small Maine airport for 4 HOURS awaiting aforementioned pilot. No getting off. Only trips to the cockpit and taking breaths of fresh air out of the open boarding door were allowed. Eventually they flew the last 2 hours to Cincinnatti and were immediately shoved aboard a late, late flight to Salt Lake. Arriving at midnight they got to a hotel and a bed around 1am. Back to the airport in Salt Lake early in the morning. Long, long lines and people sleeping against walls. No room on the planes for perhaps a couple of days. Thanks but no thanks. Kevin called Hertz. The family got in a car and drove the remaining distance (about 6-7 hours) to Montana. A 44 hour trip finally ended. The family survived (barely) and had much smoother trips - problem free - during the rest of the trip."


"From freezing their fingers on ski lifts to soaking their shorts in the ocean, the Flikkemas experienced it all this time around. Even Florida gave them hot and cold in one short week. Amazingly, Sandra and the kids outran all illnesses save one stomach-emptying incident for Mary in a McDonalds (travel weary, probably). Unfortunately, Kevin - having come back 3 weeks early, working, skiing with buddys somewhere in Austria, and wearing himself out - has been fighting illness since the middle of January. Exhaustion was the bigger problem for the entire family. Perhaps the next vacation should be a restful one. Ha!"


Business+Money - Page 4

"The only business that gets done on vacation time is family business. And that's a good thing. Much of it was fun. For a week or two much of it was hard. Having shouldered much in the last year while Althea was ill, Matt had his kids - all six of them - to help carry the load during the toughest days. God is good."

"Vacation Tip #32: When renting a car on vacation... Do NOT reserve less than 20 minutes ahead of time, request a booster seat, or rent one way to a small town like, say, Bozeman Montana. Doing so will result in a large hit to your credit card. However, when your other choice is to risk not getting home for Christmas (such as in this entirely "hypothetical situation"), do it. And be grateful it was there to rent at all."

Life+Entertainment - Page 5

"Following a big family hike, in the snow, to frozen-over Grotto Falls, the clan experienced a classical memory-making moment in the parking lot: babies locked in the truck. To keep the girls warm (Mary - almost two, Hanna - just turned one) someone put them in the truck..... with the keys. Mary is almost two. She did what comes naturally at this age and pulled levers, turned the wheel, pushed buttons. Including the 'lock' button. The next 20 minutes were a comical mix of pleading, teaching, cajoling, and jimmying that finally resulted in Mary pushing the 'unlock' button on the keyfob. She got to be the star/hero (as well as the culprit, though that is debatable) and enjoyed every minute of the entire incident. A few were worried. Sandra thought it was hilarious. Hanna slept through the whole thing."

"Sidebar: How to Build a Snow Cave! You will need: 3 grown men with advanced educational degrees, 3 large shovels, 2 small shovels, and 1 stick to poke randomly through the snow searching for a way through. Also, 1 excited 4-year old boy for motivation. Begin with a large, plowed hill of snow. Add two days of free time, snow gear, fireplaces for warming/drying, and hot chocolate breaks. Result: one cool cave with two entrances, a snow chair, and even a diversion tunnel (for 4-year old boys)."

Editorial+Opinion - Page 6


"If there is one thing children - and parents - never tire of, it is the simple and cost-free pleasures of being. Snowball fights, making a snowman and snowangels, sledding, doing the 'Flikkema Flip' with Papa, reading books, throwing bread crumbs into a pond, playing at the park, finding sticks, wrestling with uncles, taking 'horsey rides' on Grandpa and 'bull rides' on Bill, watching trains.... and doing all of them with the people who love them the most. The simplest things are the most wonderful - God designed it that way. Our children don't have a clue what it is to not be loved. And neither do we."


"More people were kind to us, showing God's love to us (without even a thought) on this trip than can be mentioned in this blog. In short: Wanders of Belgrade, Bethel Church Family, Distant Family (Close Friends), Neighbors, Old Friends (thanks for wrapping your arms around us over the internet and phone lines), FeG Church in Germany, Greene Road Church in Goshen, and the rest of you. We noticed. We thanked God for you. We love you."